Quoll

You get used to not having your kids around. These days it is a whole lot easier than it was back 40 years ago, even. At the moment I am helping with my grandson's homeschooling in London! My parents were lucky if they got a letter every 6 months! I dont think you have much to lose except some money really. If it works, you win and if it doesnt work then you can return, it's one of the bonuses of being dual citizens. It's really weird that everyone cheers if a young couple decide they want to move to Australia and take the kids away from their grandparents but if olds choose to move away then they're the villains - a real double standard. I say the need to be where you want to be works both ways.

Ah, counselling - actually I have never done it because I used to be one and, fortunately, had some friends whose judgment I valued and we batted a few things back and forth. Being aware of CBT I did it off my own bat and some strategies worked better than others but I found they kept me essentially sane. Mindfulness doesnt work for me but ACT {Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) might work for you. I think, probably, the most powerful part of the process is the relationship you have with your counsellor - they should be working to empower you, not wallowing, stringing you along with $100+ visits every week for the next 6 years (I know of some who pride themselves on doing that!!!!); you should value their input/character/persona whatever and their professional judgment. It may work, it may not - if you go in with the "I'm not going to play this game" mind set then it wont work. If you are open and honest then it has every chance of being helpful. What do you have to lose except your money (or you could get your GP to stump up for a mental health plan in which case you get it on Medicare)? Finding a counsellor who is going to be good for you is a bit of a vexed question - it helps being in the business because you know what people are saying and doing and you can judge if you trust them and their approach. You could start small - perhaps a call to Lifeline might be a good start - gives you chance to rehearse what you want to say, may prepare you for the sort of response you may get. They are required to ask if you are contemplating suicide but they will talk to you regardless and it might help you begin to think about the best way to say things and what strategies you have tried, what's worked and what's not. They're not psychologists but they're a good starting point. They wont be able to make local recommendations to you but they may have general resources you could check out. Michael Yapko who is a good bloke on Depression, said - a counsellor has 1.6 sessions with a client to demonstrate that they can make a difference so there is nothing wrong at all with trying one and seeing if they gel - if not, get another or move on. Bottom line though, exogenous depression is not something fixed by medication or talking, it is fixed by removing the exogenous stimulus which is prompting the "depressive feelings", It's not like it's a chemical imbalance. If you cant remove the negative stimulus then the next best thing is to learn how to cope with it. Would I recommend counselling? Probably yes, if what is ailing you is impacting your every day life. You are a strong person who deserves the best out of life - sometimes just talking to someone and letting the pus out of the festering wound is very cathartic and gives you the strength to carry on further!!!!

If he struggled to find work before he will probably struggle again and I agree with the others, unless he is absolutely busting a gut to move back I think you're going to find it very hard. Talk to an agent and see if a RRV is an option but if you have to go through the visa process again you most likely will be over the age limit by the time it all gets processed.

I thought the refund depended on the item number not the total amount spent. If the service provider charges more than the refund amount on an item then your refund would only cover the amount that particular item is due. There are usually multiple item numbers for any service and if your service provider adds a bit over the refund amount on each item then your total bill will be more of course.

Queensland was one state which, at one time, insisted on their own assessments so it would definitely be worthwhile talking to them to see if they will accept a foreign multidisciplinary assessment. Queensland is huge so you'll need to narrow down the area you might be thinking of living in, then I believe they have regional offices which should have a special Ed advisor. But start with the special Ed section in central office if you don't know which region you are likely to be heading for - regions here https://education.qld.gov.au/contact-us/region-maps I doubt you are going to get a 5:9 ratio anywhere, that's very intensive. You're more likely to get 2:6. I think you are wise to pay a flying visit if you can because I doubt you are going to get the same level of intervention here.

Service provision for children with disabilities varies greatly from state to state so it rather depends where you will be going back to. With respect to diagnosis first, some states will accept a diagnosis from other places but you should get in touch with the receiving state to see what assessment tools and the required qualifications of those making the assessment may be. If he had been assessed by a multidisciplinary panel then you've got a better chance of assessments being accepted than if it was one paediatrician just doing the eyeball test, Placement is another vexed question. There was a huge push for mainstreaming from parents here in Australia with the result that special schools weren't much in favour and special classes within mainstream or mainstream with support were promoted. Again, it depends on the state for exactly how resources are allocated and whether there are special schools in the area you will be living. Your best bet will be to talk to the special Ed section in the state you plan to move to and ask them what options you may have for placement and whether there is any additional information they may require for assessment. In general, though, parents of children with disabilities have found a lower level of service here than in UK and I know of several families who have returned because their kids weren't getting the same level of support. However, you won't know what you're facing until you talk to the department and I would be calling them, don't leave it to email. Get a personal contact and then you can send them assessment data, ieps, teacher reports directly - hopefully you should be able to talk to the person who would manage the placement process. As citizens you shouldn't have to pay for additional support in schools although what you are hearing may be that many parents of kids with disabilities, expecially autism, often choose to pay for private education because the schools offer them something different which better meets their child's needs although special schools are rarely private. Good luck!

I believe the extras refund relies on the procedure number and how much the provider charges. My husband got his dental check up free because his provider obviously charged the going rate for each item. Mine obviously charged more for each item and I had more x rays and a filling so I had a gap of about $85. I have a procedure coming up which will cost me the best part of $2.5k and my insurer has a maximum of $950 refund for that type of procedure, then I'd better hope I don't need anything else significant for the rest of the year in that dental portion. Still, that's 3 months worth of payments I get back. We debated long and hard whether we self insure or not and in the end we decided not to but we've saved close to $25k by being away for the last 8+years anyway. At the moment we are OK with the insurance but we are playing it by ear and will see how things turn out in the longer run. Before we left, though, I had had a couple of procedures which were well worth the premiums we paid.

I'm doing OK thank you for asking. We were there just over 81/2 years and it wasnt easy, caring for elderly parents 24/7 but it was fantastic for me both physically and mentally and for us as a couple where we became even closer than we ever were, still strong after 47 years together. Now that I am back I am finding it hard to get back into friendships - something I had no difficulty with in UK. There is no chance we will go back to live, DH is an Aussie and financially we are much more secure here. It is what it is and you just have to live with it. I feel better because my DH did the hard yards with my folk and I am repaying him so it is my choice to be here (I couldnt have done it without him!!!!). Some days I go for a walk and end up feeling quite miserable and want to burst into tears when I get home - no rational reason for it other than I find the bush depressing and that's where I generally walk. My DH and I talk about it, he knows how I feel and he is doing his best, he cant make it better for me, I have to do that for myself but it is very hard. When Covid relaxes its grip we will go home for holidays - we need to keep in touch with the other son and his family. It wont be the same though as I have no foothold in Cambridge now with mum and dad gone and their house sold. I hope it works out as well for you as it did for me! In hindsight I wish we had thought about moving when we were both still working and able to establish ourselves there before it became financially disadvantageous to do so. At least you've got a few years yet to get yourself established before retirement. Choose somewhere lovely - you're rather spoiled for choice I think!!!!!

We did go back - accidentally almost 10 years ago to care for my parents (it was only supposed to be a 2 month holiday but it lasted until last March). Our situation was different - we lived with my parents because they needed the care, we were old enough to be retired (so we did) and we didnt want to work in UK. For me it was the best thing ever - I didnt realise how low I was until I didnt feel low any more. I lost weight, got fit, made friends and generally had a fabulous time seeing and doing new things. Parents now gone and, realistically, we were past the point of no return to live in UK. Financially we are better off here, we have a home all paid off and it's a place we can grow old in quite easily. I hate being back but I am working on it. Family wise we have one son here with two granddaughters and one son in UK with one grandson - we didnt see the granddaughters for over 8 years and now we wont see the grandson for some time but there is always FaceTime and I am helping with his home schooling. If you can do it then look after yourself first because nobody else is going to do it for you. Covid has chucked a spanner in the works for the last year but it will get better and if you start to plan - declutter and get organised you might feel like you can keep going for a bit longer. I know what it is like to loathe the place you live and the depression that goes with it and happy to chat and share what strategies work (much of the time) for me!!! Good luck!

I think you are right, some go through yrs 11 & 12 but with a trade focus as part of their yr 12 assessments. In general, an employer tends to ask for year 12 results if there isnt a trade qualification but even getting an apprenticeship these days they often ask for year 12. As the school leaving age is universally 17, I think, you might just as well slog on and get year 12, what you do with it after that is up to you.

Ah, havent met any of them, good to know!

No, not worried as long as you dont bang on about it. Keep your head down, dont brag and do what you want to do without drawing attention to yourself.

You’ll need to start yr 11 in 2022. I note you turn 16 in June and going to NSW so that won’t be too bad (NSW are the most exam oriented state with HSC). GCSEs mean diddly squat and will only have any value should you return to U.K. for further education. Aussie schools probably won’t give a toss about what you’ve done in U.K., but bring anything you want to cherish not because anyone is going to read it. They’ll just Chuck you in with all the other kids in year 10 when you arrive. You’ll choose your yr 11 subjects at the end of the year. Only time you really need to bring assessments is if you have a disability which would require additional support in school and I’m guessing that’s not your situation. You’ll go to the HS in whose catchment area you live unless you go private (there’s usually a parallel Catholic system or a more expensive independent option close by)

Not as “exam” focussed - just the one round of important assessments at the end of year 12 but you’ll need to have done both yrs 11 and 12 to get decent scores. Wider range of subject choices for the yr 12 assessments, you don’t just do 3 or 4 subjects. You’ll have done one yr less schooling in Aus by the time you finish school so it’ll be proportionately easier. Some states have a college system for yrs 11 & 12, others do 11&12 in HS settings and the assessment process for the yr12 assessment differs from state to state, some being essentially continuous assessment and some being full on exams. Yr 9 girls are the biggest b!tch*s on the planet, followed closely by yr 8 girls who are in training to become yr9! By yr10 they’re mostly human. Each state is different although you all end up with a comparable ATAR. A higher proportion of kids go to non gov schools (private) and if you want a single sex school you’ll have to go private. Most HS aren’t streamed and Aussies don’t much like tall poppies so if you are a tall poppy you’ll have to be strong to avoid being cut off at the knees - it’ll be easier if you’re outstanding at sport. You’ll have to do 4 years at Uni to end up with an honours degree instead of 3. Good luck, you’ll be fine!

She seems to think she’s strong enough to give it a go, she may feel differently once she’s there or she might be like a pig in muck. She obviously knows what it means to you and is prepared to support you. If I were you I’d go and buy a lottery ticket, many are not so lucky!!!

Hard to say, cant really see its head clearly. Do you live in an area of funnel webs?

That’s what we thought when we left ours but there have been many days when I’ve missed it - and always when I wash the towels!

Yup, I know and they’re bloody expensive!

Bridging visa holders for the parent visas cannot get a full medicare card - it's very clear about that on the medicare website. There is means testing for some portion of the care home fees as I read it - but that would only apply to citizens and permanent residents as temporary residents arent entitled to any government benefits at all and any subsidy would be a benefit. Call the care homes and ask them, they'll know how much they are going to charge you.

My 96 year old dad was regularly asked by hospital admin on presenting to A&E whether he had been in UK for past 12 months. It's part of the standard A&E questioning and once I did hear a UK citizen - Canadian resident - being refused free treatment for something because they weren't UK resident - the GP would have given them what they wanted but they would have had to have paid for it and they got shirty with him so they rocked up to A&E who told them to go back to the GP and pay for it. The Canuks were being very vociferous about the refusal which is how I knew what was going on! Edit to say, check out another thread on here about the perils of growing old and infirm whilst waiting on an 804 to mature!

If he needs residential care then you are going to have to pay for it, it's not a Medicare thing and it's unlikely that he will get full medicare coverage until he becomes PR - probably wont make that much difference, he's entitled to necessary medical care now. It looks like the 838 visa has a medical requirement as well - no condition that is likely to be costly or potentially take away from others in the community. If he cant afford the CPV he's going to struggle to pay residential care fees. You'd best talk to an agent about your strategy!

I'd agree with Cal, the only thing I wish we had squeezed into the move cube was the tumble dryer. We might also have squeezed in the under bench freezer but it was all a bit too fraught at the time. Otherwise, I would probably have brought more than the 35kg of knitting wool I did actually pack into boxes. I probably wouldn't have brought a whole load of stuff that I actually did because finding a home for it here has proved almost impossible.

Move cube with Seven Seas. A large cube cost us about £1k and then there was another $1k (round figures) for entry into Australia. The advice, though, is always don't make big move until you have the visa. Do you want to sell your home and send your stuff if you may never get there?

You can move/travel. It's not easy but it's do-able if you pay the humungous fares. If you havent moved and have had 5 years to do it, I think you would be on dodgy ground.

Not unless you’ve lived in Australia for much of the previous 5 years. You might not get another RRV unless you can show substantial ties to the country and just going for a holiday isn’t going to cut it.