Quoll

Ironic given that the child’s lower cost is for meals! Can’t see an 18 yr old, or a 16 yr old being happy with child size meals. They should be double The adult price to acknowledge the hollow leg syndrome that afflicts most teens! LOL.

As has been said - none. Melbourne is locked down for as long as the spike takes. When things open up then eventually all airlines will be using it just like they used to.

Don’t think there are any states that aren’t charging. If you’re heading for Victoria you’d probably be better heading for an eastern state. It’s probably going to cost much the same wherever you go but you probably won’t get much change from $5-6k

May I suggest marriage counselling for the pair of you? I’d have thought that medics are going to do very well wherever they go - I certainly met quite a few Australians in the medical field when I was in U.K. and they all seemed very happy. It does seem that your issues are more relational because he’s changed the goal posts on you and that will either destroy your relationship or one of you is going to have to live the rest of your days with the least worst option and that’s potentially going to be painful for one or other of you. The question you probably have to ask yourself is “is this the man I want to grow old beside” And if the answer to that is “yes” then you will need to work out what your least worst compromise scenario is going to look like. If the resentment is already creeping in and you are beginning to lose the faith then you need to consider what that may look like for you. Sadly I don’t see an easy answer to your problem. It sounds like he isn’t going to move and would probably stop your kids from going too. If you do go then there is every likelihood that he will carry so much resentment that he won’t let that work either. I would hope that someone in the medical profession would be attuned to the deteriorating mental health of someone they love because of their actions but I’m sure some of them aren’t! This may work if you can come up with a scenario that involves compromise on both sides but on one side part of that compromise is always going to be living in a place you don’t want to be, unfortunately. As for going back in Covid times - millions of Britons are doing ok and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t! These are hard times across the board and things aren’t necessarily going to be peachy here either. Good luck!

It can be confusing! Perhaps start with your GP - it sounds very much like you may have exogenous or situational depression (homesickness is that!) and when that interferes with your sleep, your ability to focus or be motivated, they should help you with a mental health plan. Or, as I said, many employers especially of larger concerns have EAPs specifically for employees to seek counselling because a settled employee is a better risk for them than one who is otherwise distressed! If you see a member on here who may be from your neck of the woods and maybe in nursing or some other allied health profession they may be able to steer you in the right direction too!

Has your GP given you advice? They’re often good for suggestions about local options and if they get you on a mental health plan it costs much less. As for finding a “therapist” - word of mouth is usually the best way. Psychiatrists are medical, they tend to operate within medical models and more important if you think medication is in your future. Psychologists are registered, they can also be part covered under Medicare, they may use different approaches so it rather depends on your personality and ways of dealing with things - some can be more wallowing in the angst, others might be more about mindfulness and others more solution focussed. Counsellors are not regulated and not part of Medicare - rather depends on the person as to what their qualifications are and what their practical approach may be. Personally, I’d go to a psychologist and they will advertise as such and, if possible I’d ask around for recommendations or you may find that your employer has an EAP which might also get you on track. I’m more of a CBT gal but I know others find that not mindful enough. Bottom line though, if you feel in the first session that you’re not going to get on with them, don’t go back! A good therapist will leave you feeling that they have empowered you and that working with them will help you move forward and look for a plan that has goals with an end date. Be wary of someone who says that it’ll take 18 months of weekly visits at $200 a pop! Good luck! Don’t be afraid to jump in, you’re in control of what you want to get out of it and don’t let anyone else tell you different!

OP was 4 years ago. They’ve probably made a decision by now!

No flights into Victoria at the moment, they’re in serious lockdown. Can’t you activate by landing in another state? How long were you thinking of staying because these really aren’t the times to be traveling unless you absolutely have to.

Sadly, I don’t think there is a one size fits all solution to situations like you find yourself in! You could start to be pragmatic though - get your citizenship then you’ve got your bases covered! While you are waiting for that start rationalising your “stuff” So that if an opportunity not to be missed comes along, you won’t miss it! I’d say you’re probably on the cusp of being too old - but I think you can still do it - but if you don’t do it now then you’re probably not going to do it at all or at least until you’ve stopped working and by then the pull of an elderly parent is probably not going to be there. If you go in the next couple of years you have a chance to get reestablished before you retire. My observation was that Britain wasn’t nearly so ageist as Australia and even though we weren’t looking for work, my husband and I both got offered jobs! Like Marisa, we came back but it wasn’t because it didn’t work for us - it did, as far as I was concerned it worked brilliantly. It assuaged my guilt because we cared for my parents, I was happy all the time, lost weight, got fitter and generally had a great time but staying there when dad needed to go into care was a non starter and, pragmatically, we had left it too late, financially it stacked up being better back in Australia. What would I have done at your age and single? I have no idea but I’d like to think I would have up sticks and gone. Even back then (20 years ago) I always said that if anything happened to my Aussie husband I would be on the next plane home. Of course, back then I had two kids at Uni so I don’t know if the stars would have aligned for me or not. So, small steps to prepare - get citizenship, start to declutter, look for jobs in U.K. you would kill to get and start applying so that when we are free to travel the world again, if you feel like it you can go! Good luck with your decision making, whichever way you jump.

This - absolutely!!! Even the most rational person can experience really weird feelings that defy logic, and with the best will in the world, can't do anything about. I know for my part, I am marginally less emotionally attached because my dad is no longer there and I dont have responsibility for him (nor the concept of duty that I should be caring for him). I still have a son and grandson there but that's not the same. I also now, for the first time in my life, no longer have a home in my home town and that has been a bit of a Duh! moment for me. Aside from the duty/care/concern rationale there are loads of quite ephemeral things that I find uncomfortable here - the colours arent my colours and I have yet to find an Aussie with my sense of humour. Odd, irrational things, but they gang up on you!

So sorry to hear that you've had the goalposts changed on you. It sounds like your OH really isnt going to move, is he? Good luck getting your kids back home - has he agreed, even if you can find a flight? The darned Hague Convention can put a real spoke in your wheels if he says no at the last minute!

Well, yes, that's what we did but there was no guidance about how to get from Sydney to Canberra and what our obligations should be. Given the fairly laissez faire attitude of most of the people on our flight I was surprised there was no random checking. Few of them had masks and no one seemed to have much of a clue. We ticked the box to say we would be in our own home but that was it. And fairly obviously when they did start random checking, they found that the compliance levels werent what they were hoping they would be.

I agree - we self isolated and I was surprised that there were no random checks. I'd have had the ADF doing those right from day 1. There was no guidance on masking or onward travel just "well there ya go, stay at home" and that was it.

Yes, Canberra is pretty insular at the best of times which will certainly impact on the sense of community and I dont think the other big cities are that much different. None of my UK friends have yet ventured out to the hairdressers but they were happily discussing their mask wearing when one of them was planning to venture to the dentist last week! One was even planning to take her grandkids to the Botanic Gardens but she was one of the younger ones. A few have barely left their homes though as many of my friends are not the wellest of people unfortunately. Knitting groups have started up again here but I havent been able to get there due to grandparental duties and that does irk a bit! Oh well, I can knit at home huh!

I’m guessing you aren’t the parent of an Australian citizen or PR - which is what this thread is all about - and your post might get more tractIon if you started your own thread under Visas. Age wise you’re probably just going to squeak in but teachers aren’t really that much in demand and depending on the sector you work in you might struggle to get a visa. I wouldn’t be optimistic that you could land a head teacher role as Principalships are hard fought and very reliant on local systems knowledge and experience. Your DH is too old for a PR visa on his own merits so you would have to be the primary applicant. You’d be wise to talk to a MARA registered agent to see what your chances are.

@RosieH11 you should be able to get a RRV unless you’ve already had one and not moved back shouldn’t you? Australia certainly does seem to be not quite so cohesive - here in Canberra, it’s like nobody gives two hoots. We’re ticked off if Victorians bring it here that’s for sure! My U.K. friends are all pathologically isolating and most can’t see themselves doing anything for some months yet. Meanwhile I am trying to organise a funeral on the other side of the world and that isn’t easy either as I don’t know how people feel about being invited (only 15 of them)!. Hope it all works out for you!

I do sympathise with you @AliQ, we made the decision on 12 March to leave because my DH was monitoring things very closely and he basically said - if we don’t get out now we won’t get out at all. Pretty cluey my old man! We booked tickets that afternoon, farewelled my dad in his care home, hired a skip, totally cleared what was left in dads house, cleaned up, locked up and left to spend the night with our son on Saturday and flew on Sunday. We were fortunate in that all our stuff had been sent on 12 December (the day the first sale of the house fell through!). We had also donated most and sold a few things. Our local garage were superb and offered to sell the car for us and they collected it Sat lunchtime. If we’d not been so far ahead it would have been impossible and, for sure, things got much worse by the end of the next week. I’d been much less gung ho, thought we might have a few weeks but, as it turns out, the DH was spot on. I hope your plans come to fruition sooner rather than later but I’m not seeing things opening for quite a while yet unfortunately!

Good luck with the counselling. I hope you get one who is good at CBT or ACT - lots of strategies that might help you through each day. I certainly resonate with the trapped and in the wrong place but I’ve known it was the wrong place for at least a couple of decades - and it didn’t take me being in the right place for the last 8+ years to confirm that. The trappedness Does just add to the angst. If you can reframe - basically, you don’t have the option to leave (not without considerable bureaucratic shenanigans anyway) so start planning for when the entrapment will be lifted so that your rational decision can go smoothly at that point. Ironically, although I know I am in the wrong place and would give my eye teeth to be back in UK the fact that the government tells me I can’t be there has shifted the resentment I sometimes feel away from my General circumstances to the nasty big brother Government - oddly, easier to handle! Never been in the situation of having pets but it may be that your partner doesn’t feel as passionate about them as you do. Good luck! Hard decision but get your citizenship and you’re free to come and go as you like.

That rather depends on whereabouts in Victoria you are and how well you can inveigle you’re way into a school to get known but generally no, not in high demand like U.K. Self funding schools try and keep their costs down so they will tend to go for the cheaper options where they can (new young teachers cost less than old experienced teachers and doubling up on classes costs even less). Some areas - rural/remote are likely to have a smaller population of possible relief teachers so you’d probably be more likely to get a gig. Usually, people approach schools to get their faces known and if they like you, you’ll be first cab off the rank for relief - it’s always harder to get your foot in the door in the”good” schools too, so you could Find yourself in maybe one of the not so good schools! If you’re only after pocket money you should be ok but if you need to live on it then I’d find a different career.

Wow, I am surprised! I’m glad you found someone who would finally give you a definitive answer though! It’s good for us to file in the memory bank As being one of those pitfalls of trying to live on a bridging visa. I hope your visa gets processed quickly!

Where will you be working? Until you know where that is likely to be then you're probably wasting your time. We could suggest all sorts of places but if they arent hiring mental health nurses it could all be moot. You might not want to live in Melbourne at all - why not one of the smaller towns like Geelong, Ballarat, Bendigo or further east out to Bairnsdale or Sale. It's really one of those "piece of string" type questions unfortunately. In Vic I really wouldnt be bothering with a pool in your home tbh.

Not wanting to hijack here but, no, not really an option for us with isolation coming and going, even if we can get a plane flight. My son is doing it all, bless him. There can only be 15 for a graveside service basically. I hope your FiL improves - the call is not a very pleasant experience whichever way it turns out!

No magic answers from me either I'm afraid. We were even more spur of the moment than Very Stormy if that is possible - both coming and going!!! We went on holiday in 2011 and the wheels fell off the parental wagon and we didnt return from the holiday until March this year when we decided on the Thursday we should escape "now" and we totally cleared out my dad's house, locked it up, spent Saturday night with our son and his family and flew on the Sunday (straight into 2 weeks isolation at home). For us it was a no brainer either decision. My parents were at the beginning of the "not really coping" stage and I am an only child. We returned to my home town where, of course, most of my friends had moved on so there was a big re-establishment phase which worked out brilliantly for me. I made a wonderful group of new friends (my tribe, definitely) and we thoroughly enjoyed all that Britain had to offer although, as ever, there were things that were always going to happen "next time". The past 9 years were just what I needed - I lost weight, gained health and fitness and truly belonged for the first time in over 3 decades. We've been back now since March, my dad, who was in a care home died last week so I have dealt with "the call" after all (didnt think that would happen). I've spoken to just one friend since we've been back - my instigation and I needed a favour from her otherwise there was no response from any of my friends when I said we were back or my generic messages to them - still struggling to find my tribe back here that's for sure. Interestingly, since dad has died that intense longing to be "home" has dissipated a bit but I realise that much of my belonging had to do with being with my own family, tiny as it is and I didnt like to think of my parents on their own even though they never ever pressured us into any decision. We still have a son and a grandson there and I hope that the airlines will one day play ball and let us travel freely but for the meantime I'm not going anywhere and I dont really like it. I dont enjoy Australia I'm afraid. The colours are wrong for me, and the humour and the lack of variety in things that matter to me. We managed the long sabbatical because we were almost retired and living on our super so finances weren't a huge issue. Missing the granddaughters who live here was an issue but I know I am going to be screwed whichever country I end up in. My advice, for what it is worth is get your citizenship, just in case. Move before your kids are old enough to think that they may want to stay in Australia, or, even worse, some of them end up in UK and some of them end up in Australia. Bath would seem to be a pretty perfect place to me to "end up" in - I can also recommend Cambridge and Addenbrookes is world class!!!! On the plus side for you at the moment is that the Aussie dollar is doing well against the pound! It's been much much worse in the past. I guess for everyone who returns and finds their belonging there is another who returns and thinks WTH have I done - I know there are even serial ping pongers who just never manage to settle anywhere ever because they are forever trying to compare the bad of the now with the good of the then!

Quote from the Qld education website The Education (General Provisions) Act 2006 provides authority for the Department of Education (DoE) to charge a fee for the education of a person at a state school who is not: an Australian citizen or permanent resident a child of an Australian citizen or permanent resident. So if your husband has resumed his citizenship and enters the country as a citizen then the children should be covered under the second point there and fees would not be payable. Dont bother emailing people, call them direct. If you know which state you will be heading for, call the International Students Section in that state and ask directly. Faffing around with emails is wasting your time

Gosh, whereabouts in Britain were you with grey skies and wet ground? I'd avoid that like the plague. Personally I loved my last nearly 9 years in Cambridgeshire even though it is flat but everywhere is so close to everywhere else that you can get lovely variety with little effort. I think Cambridge has its own little microclimate, the weather was much more to my taste than Canberra's is.