Quoll

Enough to teach? That rather depends on the structure of your course. Not something I've heard of a BSc in education with IT. Have you done the required supervised teaching practice within that degree?

Your son would miss out on nothing by not living in Ballarat so that's not really a consideration (first time I've ever heard people thinking Ballarat's weather is something to write home about LOL). Opportunities in one first world country are going to be much the same as any other first world country so nothing lost there. For me the feelings of being an alien never went away - my head told me that Australia was home but my heart never got with the plan - after 3 decades I loathed it (DH is a Ballarat boy and I don't think that I would have lasted 2 decades if we'd have been in Ballarat!). At your stage I was still in "this is a nice adventure" mode and have never been one for "let's settle down" (I'm still not). My friendship circle is amazingly small for having lived over half my life in the same place and there is a difference IMHO with the quality of friendship - they just didn't stick and those few friends I had were long term expats like myself, most of whom would give their eye teeth to move back but were stuck. That said, you can probably take a pragmatic view for a few years - citizenship, build up the bank balance etc - then reconsider. By the time your son is heading for HS you'll probably want to have made your decision and hope that you haven't drifted past the point of no return. You're lucky that you've both got good jobs that should be recession proof.

Bridging visas carry the same restrictions as your original visa.

I beg to differ! The rules changed and the right of citizenship through mothers has had the birth date removed entirely. It's a very simple process using the form UKM and it costs about £80 for the citizenship ceremony (not £800!). My son was born end 1981 and when the 1983 ruling came in there was a sort of grandfathering over the period between announcement and commencement of the automatic period and my son has had a UK passport since birth. Even if that boat is missed the UKM process is quick, cheap and painless. My DH born 1949 has his citizenship by descent through his mother.

Can't edit my post but just rereading your original point - if your mum was born in Britain you're a citizen by descent, won't cost you anything except a passport. Worth getting!

And you are guaranteed the right to return at any stage with citizenship. At the moment you are on an Ancestry visa, that may or may not be available should you need it down the track (not available to my DH when we first faced the visa issue because it's a working visa and he wouldn't have been working) Didnt think it was that expensive to get citizenship. Not as expensive as getting your DH a spouse visa for Australia anyway. Golly, bit of a left field thing going on there - he knows he can't cope with being in Australia and is being the bigger person in letting you go because he knows that he couldn't cope with how you are feeling at the moment? Or what??? Still reckon the two of you in marriage guidance counselling is probably going to be your only way to solve this one.

Not much call for primary teachers especially not in the places that people actually want to live as there are thousands of out of work young Aussie teachers who are going to be cheaper than an experienced foreigner (more experience=more pay=more stress on a self managed school). Check out which states might still be sponsoring primary teachers but usually there's either a specific second language requirement or a regional requirement and shine of those regions can't keep teachers for very good reasons. Might be better to just use your lovely long holidays for visits.

Cut. Run.

On the pragmatic side again, you should get your citizenship anyway, makes life much easier. When we fall in love, we don’t necessarily have those “I may want to live on the other side of the world at some point” discussions unfortunately because, for some, that could be a deal breaker. Apparently my DH told my mother on our wedding day that if I didn’t like it he’d bring me home - that was according to her - my DH claims selective amnesia! LOL I think a large part of your problem might be that your DH is an only child. That’s a horrible situation to find yourself in with aging parents. His guilt at leaving them would probably be too overwhelming unfortunately (got the “only child” t shirt too!)

I know this is a tad macabre but is there any chance you could get a genetic test done to see what sort of imperative you might have for a strong support network in the next decade or so? I could quite understand if you didnt want to know because that would be awfully depressing but having the sword of Damocles over your head might be equally so. Having spent over 3 decades in Aus, I would not be hoping to get a strong support network there tbh. I found that I had plenty of "friends" who didn't stand the test of time and by the time I left there were only a handful and few of them would be the "call at 3am" kind. I don't know if it is the place I lived (although my sister in law lives elsewhere and says the same thing) or the time of my life but nothing stuck especially not when things got tough. I know that I was the support network for one of my (long term expat) friends and since I have left she has barely made contact with me but she would have unhesitatingly called me at 3am. In fact, most of the friends I had were all long term expats like myself and one positively saintly woman who is uber special but has since moved on herself. It certainly is tough for you and I dont envy you but my pragmatic self says - go back and get citizenship then decide what to do. Once you have that, you have both belt and braces on and can move at will - who knows, maybe you will get your "life is an adventure" mojo back and maybe any new relationship will adventure along with you.

Been there, got the t shirt in reverse. I loathed Australia after 32 years because I had survived, like you, with the assumption that we would spend a lot of time in U.K. as we got older. Couldn’t get my DH over for holiday most of the time - he did manage to come for our son’s wedding but not several other milestone events but even then he could only spare 4 weeks not the 8 weeks that the rest of the family stayed. Our story had a “happy” ending in that he decided on that visit we could not possibly leave my aged parents alone so we stayed, just cashed in the return portion of our ticket. I’ve had 7 fabulous years of living where I belong and can now view the prospect of living in Australia without vomiting (literally!). Not that I recommend caring for a pair (now one) of nonagenarians is ideal retirement activity! How I coped my last decade in Australia- I used CBT Strategies like they were going out of style! We reached a compromise (there has to be some sense of that to survive!!!) in that he kept working to fund my trips home whenever I needed them, we agreed to stay in our home rather than buggering off to the bush to be self sufficient. I reframed life - it was my decision to stay because it was the least worst option! I’d had him for nearly 40 years and life there with him was less worse than life here without him - so I was no longer the victim of someone else’s control but owner of my own destiny. In your case I would suggest marriage guidance for the pair of you and some CBT counseling for yourself and to come up with a list of compromise options you would be happy to negotiate. You need to work out whether your relationship is the most important thing in your life or not - is he the man you want to grow old beside? You can’t cuddle a country at the end of the day! Your husband may have solid pragmatic reasons for why a move isn’t an option - or he may just be being a controlling ar*e I dunno but that’s something that marriage guidance can sort out. Bottom line - no right/wrong answers just wish you the very best in working your way through it, it’s a nightmare and takes great personal strength so I guess you will both have to work out which of you has the strength to be the alien for the long term. Happy to chat any time!!!

I'd think it might be the only option if the OP wants to stay, providing she meets the criteria for that but, given her independence (sorry to talk about you in the third person, Rachel) proving that relationship with the usual evidence might be tricky. Nobody is going to give someone a job in an e-visa, it's not meant for that and in any employment application process they're going to look for the best candidate who has the capacity to work in the country and there are always going to be plenty of candidates to fill the role without visa issues.

How important is it for you to "settle down" or are you in "life is an adventure" mode? Our rule of thumb was to go where you had the best opportunity at the time. If your job in Australia is more enjoyable, more profitable and offers better career prospects then go for it. Spend a few more years in Australia then you'll be eligible for citizenship and can come and go at will. The issue of isolation is certainly one to be wary of and you will need to be sure of your capacity to cope with that should the going get tough at any point - much harder when you're on your own for sure but only you know how self reliant you are. Could you do a belt and braces thing and take a career break from your current position or is that a bit cheeky? I usually do the coin toss - the response to the result "phew" or "best of 3" will probably tell you what you really want to do. Remember that nothing is forever. I should have said - I'm sorry to hear about your dad, perhaps hang off making your decision until the last minute - they do reckon that life changing decisions shouldn't be made in early bereavement.

This is an old thread and its not really clear what your point is here. You'd be better starting your own thread and being clear about what it is you are after.

Ah well, you're good to go then! That's good news.

Just checking- will you be on PR visa or temporary? If the latter, then don’t forget to budget at least $10k pa for the kids’ education and also be aware that temporary visa holders don’t necessarily get offered places within the school catchment even if you can find somewhere you’d like to live in at a rent you can afford if the classes are oversubscribed. If you’re pr then that doesn’t apply but the schools do reflect the suburbs and the suburbs that may be affordable aren’t necessarily the ones you’d like to live in or send your kids to school in unfortunately.

Your employer may decide to terminate you if you're unable to work - that's a risk you take - and then you'd be off home anyway . If a baby is your priority, it might be better to head home, re-establish residency then medical will be covered, you might get a benefit and you could think about Australia if you're still interested down the track. Alternatively, get private insurance now (although Medicare should cover you for much of the cost and it would probably be cheaper just to pay for the add ons) and only take 6 weeks leave over the birth - your employer might wear that. Be aware that the baby won't be Australian and will need their own visa at the end of it and you won't get any child care benefits for when you do go back to work. Read the Hague Convention if you're thinking of having a baby with an Australian though.

The MD was interviewed by CEO magazine recently and painted a picture of a fabulous firm to work for but I guess you take all that with a pinch of salt (a quick Google will find it)

I think that's the point - my lads didn't miss it until they saw that others have different family experiences and now that they see how different it is when you do have that closer extended family they're rather envious. It didn't occur to me that they might have wanted more connection when they were younger - it wasn't as if they never had a connection at all, we worked hard to foster that with visits etc but it was something that obviously resonated with them once they saw how "close" some families are. Mind you, it's made them both very independent which is probably no bad thing.

Looks like it would be quite straightforward for you. Just put in the application and wait - think 12 months - anything less is a bonus and in the meantime make sure your Aussie gets UK citizenship so you will be free to come and go down the track, you never know when you might need it.

The one regret that both my, now adult, sons have independently mentioned is that their childhood was isolated from extended family. Both partnered with girls from very close extended family groups and both found that odd yet sometimes comforting in a way. They're both very independent and have a good relationship with our extended family but not "in your pocket" close. I think both would prefer something between their partners mob which can occasionally be stifling and our mob which are more distant but there when they need us. As a grandparent you have to have a different view of grandparenting when your grandkids are on the other side of the world - personally I survive with the out of sight out of mind approach. I talk to them regularly on Skype but that's not very satisfying for any of us, we do it though and we quite like the long visits but I'm very envious of my peers who have their grandkids over all the time, do the odd baby sitting, go on trips, do grandparents day at school etc. Some of us cope ok and I suppose given my independent steak I was always going to cope better than others who are desperate for enmeshment so I guess it will depend on how well your folks cope. If there are other grandkids it's easier to be out of sight /mind.

You can do whatever you like! Whether the businesses thrive or not will be entirely up to you but I can't see any reason why you can't bring your business with you. Sewing certainly isn't restricted and AFAIK personal /business/life coaching isn't either (quite a few life coaches around, very trendy), unlike some occupations like psychology where you need to have AHPRA registration. You will need to get on top of your tax liabilities but I doubt the High Commission is going to be much help with that. You might want to check what visa you will be on because the ACT does charge school fees for some visa holders. Once you know which visa, give the International Students section in ACTDET a call to see if you will be up for fees and what they will be so you can build it into your remuneration package.

Sorry to hear that it isn't working out for you! I recall the plans you had for your return when you were fitting more into 5 weeks than you had in your whole 5 years in Australia! I guess I don't get the weather thing but I hate the heat (and the DH isn't keen on it any more and has promised air con on our return). Life's an adventure huh and there's nothing in the rule book that says you have to settle down!

If all else fails she could stay to finish her teaching qualification, he could go home when his visa ceases then she can go and join him, shouldn't have to much trouble with finding a teaching job from what I hear. They can do the cohabitation thing then they can come back with him on a partner visa. The issuing of visas is a bureaucratic process and, fortunately, not a victim of emotional blackmail no matter how "just" one thinks ones case is. On the plus side, your daughter doesn't need a visa to work in UK! Long distance relationships most certainly can work (wearing the t shirt on that one!) so if it's meant to be they'll find a way.

Most Aussies wouldn't want to live in the NT so you might have to be more specific about what your expectations are. Best advice is probably "pick another state".