Quoll

You’ve been registered with only 3 year’s qualification? Someone has boobed there!

It’s probably the notion of “settling” and no more adventures which is bugging you. That I can relate to, I will settle when I die. Nothing has to be forever. On the surface though I’d say it’s probably a no brainer - you struggled to find work in WA and that will likely be worse now given the downturn, it took a toll on your relationship and you and the kids were quite isolated. You say you have good jobs, family support and in line to buy a home - unless you have something better than that in WA why bother? I had to chuckle at the dearth of date nights - we never had them, being in a similar position in Canberra when our kids were young. The kids came everywhere and we only got date nights back when they were old enough to be left alone. Now we are caring for a 94 year old and even though we’ve been married 45 years next month, a date night (or even a date lunch!) every now and again would be bliss! I wouldn’t worry about the kids - If you took them back to Perth they’d likely be saying they wanted to go back to be with the grandparents before too long. One first world country is much like any other.

I’d wait to see what advice you get. It rather depends on what support he needs to be productive. If he’s totally independent in school then you should be ok but if he has additional support then it rather depends how much that would potentially cost the Australian tax payer. Every child is different. Some kids with a diagnosis get a visa but they usually aren’t then eligible for any support in school. Bit of a Catch 22 situation.

Who gives a toss what other people may say about your decisions about your lives? I agree that many think Australia "is" Home and Away or Wanted Down Under and cannot see that real life is a very different proposition. Make sure you have your Australian citizenship all sorted before you leave - belt and braces!!!

Just one other point, which cannot be said enough YOU HAVE NOT FAILED!!!!! Do not ever label yourself as a failure for finding that you dont like or fit in with what you see around you. Look after yourself (nobody else is going to do that for you!) I agree with Snifter's last sentence here!

(((Hugs))) to you. First, you’re not Robinson Crusoe, many (especially but not exclusively) women have found themselves in the situation you are now. First thing I would usually suggest is Marriage Guidance - if your bogan town has one! Then you need to look at a list of compromises you might be prepared to make and see if there is any way you and your DH can come to an agreement which would make life more liveable for you. Prioritise the order that you want things to happen Bottom line though - is this the bloke you want to have kids with (you don’t mention kids) and grow old beside? If he is then you’re screwed and your next best course of action is to see your GP and see if you can get a mental health plan with a CBT or ACT Therapist. They won’t solve the problem but they will give you some strategies to help you get up every day and soldier on. Some of us lived empty lives behind a mask of complaisance for a long time before the situation changed. How to fit in to a place that is contrary to everything you believe and hold dear - sacrifice yourself basically. There must be one skerrick of the situation where there are things that you enjoy doing and there may be a cohort you’d enjoy doing it with - I find knitters are amongst the most amenable of companions! Is there no way to reconnect with the job/people from when you were there before? Good Luck!

Pom - all sorts of origins but the best etymology is the most boring - rhyming slang: pomegranate =immigrant.

Living in Aus on a bridging visa as you age is a very risky process - see the “emotional blackmail” post further up the board today about the poor lady who is being deported because she’s costing the tax payer too much in drugs for her condition. She thought there wouldn’t be a problem arriving as a tourist and applying onshore I am sure. Now, had she applied for the cpv back then she’d have been in Aus for several years as a PR by now with no risk of deportation. The clue here is that you are not on an 804 visa until it’s granted! You are on a bridging visa from a tourist visa.

Golly, perhaps try a different part of the U.K.? House prices around here, yes, very silly (as they are where we have a home in Canberra, pretty much £$ matching my dad’s house and ours.) Never had a problem getting a same day GP appointment here in U.K. ambulance calls are free, medications for the over 60s free, dad got to see a urology specialist within a week recently and had an op within 8 weeks and that included over Christmas - compared with (according to the Canberra Times recently) a wait time of 6 years (you read that right!) for a Urology “elective” op in the public system. I couldn’t believe it but, some time ago, being told I would be waiting at least 18 months to have a gall bladder removal in the public system I was glad to have had private cover then it only took a month - so nothing surprises me any more. Dad’s GP calls routinely every 2-3 months to see how he’s going if we haven’t been to the surgery and has said he’s happy to come to the home to see him if he can’t make it to the surgery (94 and reduced mobility) - awesome service At least there are NHS dentists! Not had a problem finding one here that does NHS (for the olds) but I choose private because I like the dentist I’ve got. Am used to paying for private dentistry and dollar for pound it’s significantly cheaper here. I’ve been here 7 years almost and have had care for two very elderly parents and an aunt and uncle to coordinate and can honestly say that the care they have received has been incredibly impressive. They’ve never not got an appointment on the day when needed, they’ve seen specialists in eye wateringly quick turn around times (not just urology) even though they’re well beyond their use by date. I guess all Trusts are different but this one knocks spots off Canberra (or even where by Aussie MiL lived).

Blimey, never lie to Immigration! Absolutely you need to get it checked and fixed but expect problems should you ever try and get residence in Australia.

Yes you will need to pay for child care for a 3 year old. Kids don’t start school in Australia until they are 5 (generally, but it depends on their birthday). Child care can knock you back $100-120 per day on average You’ve already been told that you won’t need to pay international or temporary visa fees for full time public school. However, everyone pays some sort of fees for their kids’ schooling - voluntary contributions, stationery packs, uniforms, visiting teachers, excursions, extra programs, performances etc. You will always have your hand in your pocket for something school related. Also you’ll have to provide their lunch and break foods, they’re not catered for.

I’d be aiming for the short term visits, she can do them every year for a while. A chronic condition which could cost the Aus taxpayers over a threshold amount could be a barrier - no idea how much her anti depressants cost even if you could swing the BoF test and such things are best discussed with agents who specialise in medical conditions. Failing that, you could always move back to look after her if she needs that much care.

If you are a naturalised citizen it doesn’t matter how long you lived there and the 2 years requirement Is only if you are a citizen by descent - my son, for example is a citizen by descent because he was born in Britain of an Australian father. He lived in U.K. from 6 months - 24 years when he came to U.K. on a holiday. His son, born in London can be registered as a citizen by descent because my son spent 23 years in Aus before his birth. Your case is much more straightforward. You were naturalised, you got your passport, you had your kids, they are citizens by descent.

Were you a naturalized Australian citizen at the time of their birth? If so then they can apply for citizenship by descent. You dont need to be a citizen by descent (and if you were a citizen by descent you would have to prove 2 years residence in Australia before their birth). You keep on saying citizen by descent but I dont think that is what you mean - you mean an Australian born citizen when you talk about citizen by descent. If you were naturalized before their birth then they are eligible - did you go to your citizenship ceremony and then get your passport then have your kids - that's as good as being an Australian born citizen.

Were you born in Australia? If not, did you live in Australia for at least 2 years? If so, then your kids will be citizens by descent. You have to register them at the High Commission then you can apply for their passports. It doesnt matter how long you have been out of Australia for. The kids might be quite straightforward but getting visas isnt a cheap process at the best of times. https://www.homeaffairs.gov.au/Forms/Documents/118.pdf

But not an Australian by descent who has not lived in Australia for at least 2 years before the child is born. If the OP inherited Aus citizenship from a parent without having lived there at all then the kids will need 101 visas.

Much easier to apply for the spouse visa off shore - several reports of people getting them in 2-3 months in a London at the moment, especially where there are Aussie kids involved. Far more sensible not to run the risk of being turned around at the border for the sake of a few weeks.

Does that work if you are in U.K. and want to watch Aus programs? Masterchef and Who Do You Think You Are are on the way! I was going to ask about a good vpn service

Mine’s Wandlebury, an Iron Age Hill fort which I choose to believe is the original site of Troy because of so many local features (it’s a compelling premise advanced by some who believe Troy was in Britain)

There are codes on line for most DVD players to dexregionalize them (dont ask an Aussie shop to do it!) but if you mainly play them on a laptop it gets confusing as I don’t think they can be de-regionalised but I think you can get round the region problem by using something like VLC media player.

You might need to connect to a set top box or cable service in order to get the channels. Or, apparently, a few do work if you set the region to Germany. Probably better to sell it and buy new when you get there. Ditto dvds are a different region if you still play them.

Quite agree. AFAIK no state allocates disability funding for dyslexia and it’s very much up to the school how they use additional resources to support special other groups. As an inability to learn to read can be due to any one of a number of reasons it does take a special teacher to have the skill to find out what works for individual kids and the new graduates, as Sammy said, don’t have much, if any, special training and I hate to say it but teaching doesn’t always attract the best and brightest candidates (there are exceptional teachers but, sadly, not the bulk of them!)

I think there’s something in genetic memory too. There’s something quite ephemeral about that sense of “belonging” that often defies logic

We moved back by accident over 6.5 years ago now and, for me, personally it was the best move ever! I’m an only child and every year I saw my parents getting older and frailer and each visit it got harder and harder to leave them but with a husband who was adamant he never wanted to live in U.K. again - ever (he’s an Aussie) I felt more and more trapped in a place I increasingly saw as alien and I didn’t belong. I’d been there 32years (8months & 3 days) when we left and for the most part been happy enough but never “quite” belonged. It took a significant event like our son’s wedding to actually get my DH to U.K. for a visit (he would commit only to 4 weeks compared with the 8 weeks the rest of the family were keen to spend there). 2 days after we arrived, the wheels fell off and mum got carted off to hospital for 3 weeks. Then 10 days after mum got out of hospital dad had a heart attack. My DH had basically taken one look at them and said “we can’t leave them” but he headed back to Aus to tidy things up for us to return after that Christmas. Didn’t happen. A week after his heart attack dad had a stroke so I stayed and the DH came back a few weeks after he’d left. We arrived with a backpack each and have been squatting in their back bedroom ever since. The best change for me was feeling I belonged once more. I have friends I can laugh with and though they are all newly made friends (I hadn’t lived at home for well over 40 years at that point) they’re good friends. I lost around 50kg, I walk everywhere, I go to the gym, we were able to take the odd weekend away together to begin with, we got on really well together exploring Britain like we had not done since we last lived there. Gradually mum got more and more disabled and demented but we kept her in her home for 4 years and eventually she had to go into care for 18 months until she died last year. Dad had a stroke last year and several other health scares so he needs 24/7 support. DH and I tag team so now never get away together except at this moment we are in the middle of a 5 week break back to Australia having got 5 weeks respite care for dad. I’ve promised to return to Australia when dad dies but though I no longer vomit at the thought, I’m finding it still really alien here. I cannot feel I belong even though I like being in my own house. I have tried. I call it “home” consciously but not emotionally. I will have to work hard at not stacking back the weight, I have a few friends who’ve made the effort to catch up for coffee which has been nice. We will always have grandkids on opposite sides of the world so we hope to still be able to travel but financially we are better off in Australia because of pensions, real estate etc. We should have moved back 20 years ago when we could better rebuild in U.K. before it was too late. DH is ok with living in U.K. because he’s not trapped there. Dad is 94 he’s not going to live forever. It’s tough going at the moment but DH and I are stronger together because we are in it together and DH has said many times that he’s thrilled to have his wife back - the one he married, not the one who lost her sense of self in Australia. Meanwhile I’m trying to enjoy being back in Australia- I love my shower and the wide car parking spaces but the coffee is too strong and few places have cream with it!

I just skirted Melbourne the other day and that ringroad - phew! Just like the M25 on a bad day (along with a whole load of even worse drivers!) I remarked to the DH at the time that the M80 was vying with the M25 for the accolade of the world’s largest car park. I’ve done that road many times in the past but not for the last 7 years and it was way worse. Not been to Sydney for a couple of years but might pop up for a day if I get time next week - for curiosity and a wool shop basically!