Quoll

Pragmatic things first - have you got citizenship? That ensures you keep all your options open. Have you actually asked if he would come with you? Or is he thinking that you’re leaving him and don’t want him to come because of what he’s said in the past? Many of us have said “I love you but I can’t live here any more” - he may choose that his least worst option is with you in a place he’s not keen on compared with without you in a place he loves. However, It seems from these boards, blokes appear to adopt the “plenty more fish” attitude compared to women. Bottom line though, you can’t cuddle a country. A word of caution about returning for family - that doesn’t always work out well. A lot of returnees find that their families are doing just fine without them and they can’t go back to what they had before because the holes left in their families’ lives have healed over in their absence, often with scar tissue!! Im not saying don’t go because you do what you have to do - I’ve done it, I’m doing it as we speak but I’m doing it with a DH who did a total about face and is living in UK quite happily with me although he said he would never live here. Neither of us thought 6+ years ago that it would be this long. Both of us are ready to move on but waiting for your dad to pop his clogs at 94 is a tough gig. Being an only child sucks! Good luck - it’d be lovely if you could work out a compromise which meets both your needs better because it sounds like both of you are suffering a lot here.

My piece of string was 32 years, 8 months and 3 days - when I left. For the first 20 years I lived there reasonably happily ignoring the backstabbing “friends” and getting on with it, raising kids, working full time making lots of very superficial friendships which dissolved as soon as circumstances changed and the “we must still do coffee” never eventuated. I guess I put up with it because you never knew what or where was coming next. I lived in a place with a fairly high itinerant population. Since I left I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of “friends” I had - all bar one are long term expats like myself (most of whom would kill to be where I am!) and the other is a truly good, wonderful woman but she’s leaving Canberra for a coastal retirement and will, very probably, be enjoying her own company for some time, having given so much of herself to others for years with her job. Contrast that with the friends I have here - we have those friendships where you pick up the conversation exactly where you left off. They are scattered all over U.K. now but those closest, including a whole cohort of new friends I have made, have been wonderful. Nobody has stabbed me in the back, none have played the “mines bigger than yours and I earn more than you” games that tend to go on in Canberra, we support each other, laugh (a lot), do things together and generally enjoy each other’s company. I guess it’s very much luck of the draw who you gel with and possibly what you expect out of life. Also, too, what your intentions were on moving to Australia. Ours weren’t to “settle forever” - we were the type to take the best opportunities that came our way and they could have been anywhere. I think feeling trapped in Australia is probably the worst thing and almost certain to exacerbate any alien feelings. While you still have the feeling either real or illusory that you have the freedom to move on (remember you can never go back to what you had) then that makes it easier to put up with what you’ve got. Good luck, it’ll either work out or it won’t but if you find that your unsettledness is impinging on your everyday life may I suggest you visit your GP and see if you can get a Mental Health plan which will take you to a psychologist who can help you with strategies to get through every day.

Rather you than me! That’s revolting!

Just been on a short trip through several local villages and easily half a dozen trees down - one just down the road from us was being cleared at 8:30 and all the other roads are now clear as well. Kudos to the tree people who must have made an absolute fortune today.

Chap on another board just got his partner visa from London in 2 months - permanent as well.

We’ve had to batten down our hatches here in Cambridgeshire this morning- the wind woke me up (and that’s unusual) one of my apps said 60kph. I wouldn’t know but I’d not be surprised to see trees and branches down. No rain though (yet).

There are many visa decisions which are taking a long time, not just this one - if you apply off shore for a skilled visa or a parent visa or even a partner visa- which is an avenue open to everyone - some of those are taking a long time too. This has to be about what Australia wants and needs. If people don’t like hanging around they can move on, no one is making them stay in Australia if they’re getting fed up with waiting. I have absolutely no objection to people being given visas - although I do get ticked off with people demanding visas - if they meet a need that cannot be filled by Australians. For every story like yours there will be several from Aussies who have been fired, often from foreign owned companies in favour of incomers - and if you believe the tales, the Aussies have been required to train them up because they weren’t capable of doing the job. But, they were cheaper and often countrymen of the owners who then get PR, so there definitely needs to be a tightening up of processing. No Aussie should lose a job just to employ a cheaper foreigner. The government should look, too, to ways of keeping Aussies in regional areas because they’re not doing that very well at the moment.

The problem has been with that transit from 457 - there are more than a few reports of Aussies being booted from positions to be replaced by temporary visa holders who then get PR. Just because employers can exploit foreigners by offering lower wages doesn’t mean they should do so. All experience is valuable but I doubt we need to import as much as we have been especially when there is quite a high unemployment rate running. Nobody has to put their lives on hold for 2 years, they can move on to something better any time they want.

I think you have to realise that the Australian government has responsibility to look out for the citizens of its country, not the people who aspire to become citizens. It’s about time that they tightened up on some occupations - really? Is there a shortage of retail managers in Australia? I wouldn’t have thought so. It’s a shame that your occupation doesn’t meet Australia’s needs at the moment but the government is doing the right thing by its people, it’s not responsible for the citizens of other countries as well. For too long people have been brought in to do jobs that Australians could/should have been doing and hopefully that is now being redressed. It would certainly have been better if they’d tightened up a long time ago then you wouldn’t have been waiting so long and they really need to pare down the list of occupations in demand which bear little resemblance to the job vacancies. It’s unfortunate that you’re caught up in the crack down but I guess you must have always known that the Government can adjust and change its protocols to meet demand and no application is certain to succeed.

I’m very surprised that our local trust did so poorly. I’ve been in and out of the local hospital with my elderly parents and aunt and uncle for the past 6 years now and have been super impressed. A case in point - we contacted dad’s GP about something we were concerned about on 5/12, he was seen for a scan at the hospital on 14/12, had his pre-op on 20/12 and a high level pre-op on 3/1 and I take him in for his procedure today. I do see folk in A&E though who should have gone to their GP (I would have thought) and I have never had a problem getting into our GP on the day either. Our trust has recently put a hold on non essential operations though because of the flu and subsequent bed supply - I thought dad’s might be postponed but apparently not.

Is he not your AoS? Usually the child is.

So you won’t have kids in Australia any more? I’d say that was going to be a bit tricky.

We didn’t have a problem, just rocked up and registered. Explained why we were there and it was very straightforward. Hope your mum has her citizenship before she leaves though, you never know where life will lead you

School year goes end Jan to mid December. Doesnt matter when you arrive, kids move and start school anytime.

We had a weird morning a couple of days ago - right before the storm attired

Ok, start with the job application, that’s going to be the fundamental first step. Where you live then sort of flows from that. Wait until you have a job and know where you will be living before you enrol the kids. All depends on the job as to what the application format might be. You might approach an agency. Your children can enrol in government schools - no fees other than those every Aussie pays. Schools usually follow from your abode with schools having priority enrolment areas where they must provide a place for a child living within the area. They usually ask to see contracts of lease but aren’t keen to enrol kids with a holiday accommodation address. Unfurnished rentals are more common than furnished but if you want really short term eg 2 months then you can get holiday lets which are generally furnished. The usual advice for anyone arriving without a job is to plan to spend 6 months looking so if you consider that the average salary is around $70k then budget for $35k just to get by (just in case) plus establishment costs such as bonds, insurances, vehicles, school costs, basic stocks, etc Things start closing down around the end October through until Feb when they crank up again employment wise.

Whose Christmas holidays? Public Service ones? 2 Jan, School ones varies according to state but usually after Australia Day. But remember that individuals within the APS usually take their rec leave when they like and it’s usually over the school holidays.

It was 10.5C when I left for shopping this morning but otoh the other morning when I went to the gym at the same time it was -2.5C. No consistency that’s the problem. I reckon it’s warm today because I stocked up on de-icer yesterday

The forecast is for wet snow tomorrow down here but I will believe it when I see it. Yesterday was lovely, grand day for a walk, as was today but with much chillier winds. I walk in a local nature area regularly and rarely see anyone but today it was like Piccadilly Circus - I encountered half a dozen families on the road to the Down and then whenever I scanned the Down I could see between 35 and 50 people at any one time, they were like ants (I was there for a while as it's the only hill within cooee and I was trying to get my floor target on my Fitbit!). Everyone was happy, chatty and saying hello. Fab day and now with nearly 9 miles done and 72 floors I am allowing myself a mince pie!

If you want less humidity, Canberra could be an option. Not sure about the pressure drops though. Can’t think of any of my Canberra acquaintances with RA but that’s not to say that there aren’t lots of folk there with it. Disadvantage of Canberra I guess is winter, and it can be very chilly although it usually gets above 10C during the day even if the nights are -7C

Another selfish independent old chook here too and one who encouraged independence in my boys as they were growing up (nothing like giving them hints on their birthdays like a Jamie Oliver cookbook, a frying pan, a set of good kitchen knives etc). They’ve both done their thing, same as I did mine. I’m afraid I went overseas without a thought for my parents and, they, in their turn, sort of expected it of me. They shaped their lives to meet their needs and that was cool with me. That we chose to come and care for them in their last years irritated my demented mother considerably but my more rational dad was essentially grateful that he was able to keep mum at home as long as we did and now he spends his life dozing in his chair and looking out on his garden, waiting for his end of days. I wouldn’t expect my kids to do what we have done and, to be fair, my parents didn’t expect it of us either, it was our choice (not necessarily one I would recommend to the faint hearted). One of our boys now lives in our house - which suits us as it’s not rentable, having only been half renovated but he will be out on his ear when we return. Bottom line you only have one life and you do with it what you choose - I wouldn’t be shaping my life to accommodate my kids once they’ve done with school. If we had wanted to go, we’d have gone (we didn’t at that time) and they would have had the choice to stay or come with us. Interesting that the only guilting we got about our current pathway was from the (now ex) daughter in law who thought we were ignoring the needs of the granddaughters! As we now have grandkids on both sides of the world, there would be no solution to that. I do like the saying from The Exotic Marigold Hotel - it’ll all be alright in the end and if it is not alright then it is not the end. (Sunday morning waffle over!)

I think the point is that so many days have beautiful clear blue skies that you don’t have to go and hunt for them, so many pics just happen to have the beautiful blue skies. It seems that the Pom psyche is that if you have a fabulous week but on one afternoon the clouds roll in then that is automatically labelled a “crap week” . I’m looking at Canberra at the moment - there have been some ripped storms there this past few weeks by the look of the radar app. And when it rains in Canberra it’s not the gentle Pommy mizzle, everything gets sodden. Good for the dams though, they must nearly be topping out now.

Was it Piers Corbyn. Generally those meteorological prognosticators get it right maybe once every couple of decades. Like the broken clock it’ll be right twice a day

This was yesterday at Bury’s Christmas Markets (before crowds) - been some lovely days recently and there’s onl6 a few fluffy clouds about now.

Covered elsewhere quite often. Bottom line, after 32 years I still didn’t “belong” and I did everything that they tell you to do - work, join groups, volunteer, get more education etc etc. There was nothing magical about it for our family. The kids did much the same as my friends’ kids have done in UK. My family will be forever split as one son cannot leave Australia (but he dislikes the summer heat and bugs and would leave if he didn’t have family responsibilities) the other son came to UK for a holiday over 15 years ago and never returned. He’s got a great career, lots of travel, home of his own, wife and child. My grandkids will never live in the same country. We came on holiday 6 years ago and my previously highly resisting Aussie husband said “we can’t possibly leave your parents” so we never went back. Mum died earlier this year but dad is still hanging on at 93. I’ve been back for a couple of holidays and now I no longer vomit at the prospect but I have promised to return when dad dies but I feel life is very two dimensional when I am there but here it is full to the brim (just back from day out at a Christmas Market but it was a toss up whether I did a craft show instead). My soul is alive here, there I just mark time. I miss real green, the countryside changing, the variety of just about everything, pleasant seasons etc. It’ll be interesting to see how long I last when I get back I guess but sanity hits will be built in. My kids know that I will not be trekking around after them and they are free to go wherever they want. Skype grandparenting sucks but if you aren’t enmeshed it’s ok.