Excellent post Incata!
It's a very fine line between showing your feelings (the odd tear when you say goodbye is perfectly normal IMHO) and playing the guilt card "I'll never see you again", "I'll never be able to take MY grandkids for a walk", "this is the last time we will ever XXX". But, yes, basically you do have to suck it up in private and if it gets too overwhelming may I suggest counselling? There are ways of managing the intrusive thinking so that you move through your grief - it is like a bereavement really but you always have the hope of a reconnection at some stage.