Marisawright

You're right, I couldn't possibly live where you're living! I don't tolerate humidity at all well. That's why I'm in Melbourne now instead of Sydney! It is funny how we're all different in the way we react to heat. My sister adores hot weather whereas I'll be inside with the air con on.

TBH I think you are bonkers, but you sound as though you're pretty determined to go ahead regardless so I'll just wish you good luck with it.

It is annoying that it takes so long - but remember, citizenship is intended for people who've made a decision to spend the rest of their life in Australia, so there really isn't any rush, is there? In fact, I could be cynical and say the reason they're so slow is to discourage people who want to come to Australia, stay just long enough to get citizenship then hightail it back to their home country... I know that's not what you're trying to do, though. Right now you seem to be thinking that your choices are (a) stick it out where you are, which you hate, or (b) break up with your partner and head back to the UK. Have you thought about moving somewhere else in Australia, long enough so you can get your citizenship? It would mean living apart from your partner for a while - but if the alternative is to break up anyway, what have you got to lose? Treat it like a WHV, live in backpackers' and be fancy free for a while - it would do you a lot of good after being stuck out in the country for so long. Australians are NOT all alike, (I've been amazed how friendly people are in Melbourne compared to where I lived in Sydney, for instance), so you might enjoy it more than you think.

I'm really curious why you want to take this path when you could stay in the UK, complete your degree while your husband works full-time, and save like mad. Then when you're qualified, apply for PR if the occupation is still on the list. No struggling to survive on a pittance, no paying expensive school fees, no loss of income, no risk.

Why do you recommend avoiding Collingwood/Abbotsford? I know Collingwood used to be a rough area but it's a totally different vibe now, very hipster, lots of cafes, just as cool as Fitzroy or Brunswick East (not West). Abbotsford has some gorgeous apartments near the river so you get the best of both worlds, tranquility but also good social life. I think you'll find Coburg feels too far out. Coburg is becoming trendy but it's mainly confined to the new development at Pentridge, the rest of Coburg is family territory still. I agree, I'd avoid St Kilda. Richmond is a bit bohemian but there have been a lot of drug problems in the news there recently. If you want to be near the sea, then Port Melbourne, Albert Park. Yarraville is very hot right now, but perhaps it's too far out. If you don't mind living in a high-rise, then you'll find plenty of apartments in Docklands and you'll be right in the centre of the action.

It seems to me there is one risk with your plan, and one certainty. The risk is that after all your sacrifices, you'll have to come back to the UK. The certainty is that you're going to spend your life savings, and probably go into massive debt - because on 20 hours per week each, you couldn't possibly cover the living expenses for a family in Australia. As Jenki pointed out, they only survived it because her husband was working in a highly-paid full-time job back in the UK. Don't get me wrong, I like living in Australia, but I struggle to understand why you'd make such enormous sacrifices to move here. It's neither better nor worse than the UK. It's just a different country with a different lifestyle, and like any other country it has its pro's and con's.

Jenki was referring to the cost of your children's school fees, not your school fees.

That was 13 years ago, though. I'd love to find work for 20 hours a week and have found it very difficult to achieve, except in menial work (which of course has lower wages).

The obvious question is, if you're eligible to apply for PR, why aren't you applying now? If you are not eligible to apply for PR now, then you may not be eligible to apply at the end of your degree, either. They require experience as well as the degree and usually, they only count years of experience AFTER you have your degree, not before. I'd recommend checking that out before you take the plunge. Have you looked into what work rights your husband would have, if any?

I wonder about that. We were up in Port Macquarie a few times last year, visiting a sick relative. We got talking to an official at the airport there and he said more and more flights are being scheduled into Port Macquarie because there are so many FIFO workers coming in (fly in/fly out). We got interrupted before I could ask why there are so many workers being flown in, but I assume it means there must be mining roundabout?

As others have said, you won't be able to rent a house before you arrive because landlords want you to inspect the property, so there are no arguments later. Even if you were allowed to sign a lease from a distance, it would be unwise because photos on the internet can be very misleading. Wouldn't it be awful to sign a 6 or 12 month lease and then arrive to find it's a dump? Book a holiday flat or AirBnB for a month

It's really hard to judge by other people's experiences, because everyone is different. However, I do think that length of time away is an important factor in whether you can settle or not. Leave Australia (or the UK) for five or ten years and not much has changed. Leave the country for over 20 years, and it's a different story. The country will have changed, because the world is changing, but you will have changed, too, probably more than you realise. On top of that, the longer you're away, the more the memories of bad times fade, and memories of the good times gain a rosier and rosier glow. So you may be going back with expectations of resuming a life that never existed in the first place, and that guarantees you'll be disappointed. Finally, after 20+ years, your friends and family will have completely filled the you-shaped hole you left in their lives, and may not be willing or able to give up other friends or activities to make room for you again. Those are all the possible negatives, some may apply to you and some may not.

The other question is whether it's worth importing the vehicle, or whether it might make more financial sense to sell it and buy over there. Have you checked that?

We had the same experience.

I went back after 30 years and I didn't settle either. To be fair, my family are scattered all over the south of England, so it was never a case of being able to see them every week. But I found that they all had their own lives and I was lucky if I saw one or two of them once a month! My former friends all had new lives (and they didn't live nearby either) so those friendships were never revived. So in the end, it was like being in another strange country, having to make new friends all over again. If you can go back to your home town, and your family and old friends are all still there in close proximity, then that would be a totally different story.

That comes across as a wee bit harsh, I assume unintentionally. I agree that some people make good travellers and some don't, but it's not always about "retreating back to a safe bubble". Many people who don't settle either mention missing family and friends, or you can read between the lines and see that's their real issue Those people probably think us independent travellers are downright heartless, being able to abandon our nearest and dearest without a second thought, and happily not see them for months or even years on end!

Congratulations! You sound like you've got the right attitude. All the best for the next stage of your adventure.

No, I don't think you're in the minority at all. So much depends on where you've settled. If I think of Sydney, for instance, I can imagine that someone who settled in St Ives could think everyone was cliquey and standoffish, because it's a very upper class neighbourhood. Whereas I had a work colleague who moved out to Bankstown and nearly fell over when his neighbour spoke to him... However LKC also has a point, about the difference between people being friendly and open, and people being willing to form deeper friendships.

I agree 100%, there are friendly and unfriendly people in every country. However I do think it depends where you live, to some extent. For instance, I think it's a fairly well-established phenomenon that the more crowded-together people are, the more likely they are to protect their privacy - and one way to do that is to "keep themselves to themselves".

So you're saying you're right and I'm wrong and all Australians are unfriendly stand-offish etc? Or are you agreeing with me that there are friendly and unfriendly people all over the world, depending on where you live?

You're absolutely right, people are much more genuine and down to earth IN YOUR VILLAGE than they were IN BRISBANE. Whereas I've found people much more genuine and down to earth IN MELBOURNE than they were in SOUTHAMPTON. And we're BOTH right. It's totally about the city, town or village where you end up, regardless of country. Some cities, towns and villages in Australia are friendly, some are more clique-y and stand-offish. Some cities, towns and villages in the UK are friendly, some are more clique-y and stand-offish. The same thing would be true of France, Italy, whichever country you care to name. It doesn't have to be about one country being better than the other.

There are large parts of Sydney where that's entirely typical. It's the same in parts of London and I suspect it's the same in many big cities around the world. That's why I was so surprised to find it's different in Melbourne. I'd like to say it's a big city phenomenon and moving to a smaller town is the solution - however I found exactly the same thing in Southampton (UK), people were very anti-outsiders. So it's hard to predict where it happens.

I felt settled almost at once, but then I was in a country town. It's not an Australian problem though, it's a city by city/town by town thing. I spent a year in Southampton (UK) and really put myself out there - clubs, activities, you name it - and I had exactly the same problem with cliques and not feeling welcome. My sister has the same problem in Aberdeen. Whereas I'm sure there are cities and towns in the UK where I would've been made welcome. As for Australia - I left the country after a year but I'm still friends with some of the people I met then. Whereas I lived for 30 years in Sydney, and though I enjoyed my time and had a wide circle of acquaintances, I never made a "best friend" - and when I left that city, I never heard from any of them again. Now I'm in Melbourne, and I've made more friends in 18 months than I did in all my time in Sydney! And I can sense they're the kind of friends who would keep in touch if I decided to move on. The trouble is, of course, that you can't keep moving from city to city until you find one where you do feel welcome.

I think the length of time is an important factor. The OP has been away 7 years - you were away for 28 years. Your children had grown up and become Aussies - the OP's child is still a toddler. That's why I think that if they do have a hankering now, they should move and not leave it till they're in your situation! They'll be young enough to uproot and come back if it doesn't work out, and then they'll know the answer to that niggling question.

Thanks. Which one turns off the notice for "someone reacts'? Is it the "reputation" one?