bessiedoll Posted April 25, 2012 Author Share Posted April 25, 2012 the neighbours had a BBQ yesterday and asked my partner if we wanted to go over, but i was at work but the guy has spoke to my partner a couple of times and said that we could use his lawn mower if we want.. so on sunday i am going to go and break the ice and ask to use the lawn mower.. they seem like a nice couple, so hopefully me asking for that will break the ice and it will go from there. also, my mans sister and her friends have invited me out next time they go for dinner, so thats a start i suppose.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest66832 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Bessiedoll. are you attractive? sometimes I think especially with younger if a woman is very attractive, men are shy to talk in case their partners think they are coming on to you and women wont talk because they assume if your attractive that you must be a right b*tch. This quote makes me smile. Another thread on here was about a woman that wrote a article saying that because she was pretty she was treated badly by other women. Oh how the masses shouted her down that she was wrong. The woman also said that one of the reasons that other women didn't like her was because they thought that their other halfs might be attracted to them. Oh how the masses shouted out that she was so full of herself. And now here, from the mouth of a woman, the very things that was written in the article and so derided with scorn :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AoifesMum Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 My wife has been here 10 years and she has more close friends than me (only 1 english) and I'm Aussie :cry::biggrin: Hey Bessie, I promise I'm no stalker - if you want to drop me your email (inbox me) perhaps we can have a chat (though I'm in Canberra, so less chance of meet ups!) I have been feeling exactly the same way - I would just like someone for a chat and catch up and someone who is on my wavelength, but, as others have suggested, that takes time to develop. I'm sure you'll make some good mates soon. Helen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackinabox Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Some rely on the kids, if they have them, to be introduced to other adults. Making friends or forming relationships with work colleagues, the neighbours or the school run mums and dads can be difficult as you only have the house and kids in common. Hobbies and interests are a great way of meeting new people from the greater community. Join a surf club, football club, scuba dive club, knitting club, bird watching club, skydive club. Go on local painting courses or swimming classes etc. These activities usually have extra curricular activity which involves more socialising with beer and bangers. Plenty of opportunity to meet people from your town/area/village. Just put ya self about a bit more. Smile, be friendly, show an interest. Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bessiedoll Posted April 26, 2012 Author Share Posted April 26, 2012 Some rely on the kids, if they have them, to be introduced to other adults. Making friends or forming relationships with work colleagues, the neighbours or the school run mums and dads can be difficult as you only have the house and kids in common. Hobbies and interests are a great way of meeting new people from the greater community. Join a surf club, football club, scuba dive club, knitting club, bird watching club, skydive club. Go on local painting courses or swimming classes etc. These activities usually have extra curricular activity which involves more socialising with beer and bangers. Plenty of opportunity to meet people from your town/area/village. Just put ya self about a bit more. Smile, be friendly, show an interest. Jack i think im going to have a look and see what clubs are in my area. the people i work with are nice enough to work with, but i get the feeling i dont have enough in common with them to be friends outside of work.. i would do the school run and try and make friends with mums and dads, but i may look a bit wierd as i dont have any kids :biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lougrant Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Hello, If I were you I'd ask the people at work about clubs and things to do (dont right them off just yet).....most people have an interest to do something outside of work like swimming, jogging, dancing but like you dont have anyone to go with or because the OH isnt interested. So put it out at work what you'd like to do and someone is bound to jump on the band wagon and tag along to some kind of class or activity. You'll be sending a lot of time with workmates, and it doesnt hurt to shout out at lunchtime your going to a park or bar for a drink, does anyone want to join you. My mum always said you may not want to go to the party, but if you dont go you wont know what you are missing out on. And if its rubbish you can always come home. Rabbling now Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackinabox Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 i think im going to have a look and see what clubs are in my area. the people i work with are nice enough to work with, but i get the feeling i dont have enough in common with them to be friends outside of work.. i would do the school run and try and make friends with mums and dads, but i may look a bit wierd as i dont have any kids :biglaugh: Then you would seem to me to be the ideal candidate for a swimming club, a surf class, a PADI Scuba Dive course, an AFF skydive course, a live model painting class, a tennis club.........just about anything is available. Initially It's the people that are important but you will have some fun at the same time and may find a hobby that you never thought youd like. Give it a go. Put a smile on ya face. Good luck Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 This quote makes me smile. Another thread on here was about a woman that wrote a article saying that because she was pretty she was treated badly by other women. Oh how the masses shouted her down that she was wrong. The woman also said that one of the reasons that other women didn't like her was because they thought that their other halfs might be attracted to them. Oh how the masses shouted out that she was so full of herself. And now here, from the mouth of a woman, the very things that was written in the article and so derided with scorn :laugh: I think the criticism wasn't based on what she said, but on the high opinion she had of herself. Most folk who wrote (in the articles that I saw) said she wasn't in the least attractive, and personally, I thought she was dog ugly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bessiedoll Posted April 26, 2012 Author Share Posted April 26, 2012 Hello, If I were you I'd ask the people at work about clubs and things to do (dont right them off just yet).....most people have an interest to do something outside of work like swimming, jogging, dancing but like you dont have anyone to go with or because the OH isnt interested. So put it out at work what you'd like to do and someone is bound to jump on the band wagon and tag along to some kind of class or activity. You'll be sending a lot of time with workmates, and it doesnt hurt to shout out at lunchtime your going to a park or bar for a drink, does anyone want to join you. My mum always said you may not want to go to the party, but if you dont go you wont know what you are missing out on. And if its rubbish you can always come home. Rabbling now Good Luck i am probably going to sound like i am making excuses here, but honestly im not, so please dont anyone say that, but because i live a 3hr train journey away from work, and the people i work with live closer to work, socialising with them outside of work is almost impossible. thats why its hard. when i was in england, the friends i made at work lived close enough to spend time with outside of work. i am probably going to just start talking to randoms at the train station soon, see if i can get somewhere there :cute: failing that, i love the idea of going to a club, especially something that i never thought i would be into Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bessiedoll Posted April 26, 2012 Author Share Posted April 26, 2012 Then you would seem to me to be the ideal candidate for a swimming club, a surf class, a PADI Scuba Dive course, an AFF skydive course, a live model painting class, a tennis club.........just about anything is available. Initially It's the people that are important but you will have some fun at the same time and may find a hobby that you never thought youd like. Give it a go. Put a smile on ya face. Good luck Jack scuba diving.. WOWZA.. that would be amazing.. i am so going to do that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackinabox Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 i am probably going to sound like i am making excuses here, but honestly im not, so please dont anyone say that, but because i live a 3hr train journey away from work, and the people i work with live closer to work, socialising with them outside of work is almost impossible. thats why its hard. when i was in england, the friends i made at work lived close enough to spend time with outside of work. i am probably going to just start talking to randoms at the train station soon, see if i can get somewhere there :cute: failing that, i love the idea of going to a club, especially something that i never thought i would be into To be honest, once leaving the Army and working in civvie street I rarely socialised with the people I worked with either. The occassional social gathereing at Christmas and the odd night out to the races etc but nothing regular or frequent. The Army social system was a very very different ball game. We wont go into that here. So you know that work and social cant mix. You wouldnt want to be travelling 3 hrs for a night out anyway. Neither would they. Your new friends are the ones who live localish. Write a list of the local activity clubs and then join as many as is possible......time and expense wise of course. You may even create contacts that create more friends and contacts that brings your job closer to home. Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lougrant Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Wow you must really lurve your job to do a journey like that every day. Can totally understand the complications of a social life with work mates now. I'd go down the neighbour route, they have extended an arm of friendship (or they just want you to cut ya grass LOL). When you go get the mower ask them about local clubs and stuff to do......ask them in for a drink to say thanks. They sound nice people and might also be looking for new friends. I'd also put a meeting up thread on PIO for your area for new friends. All the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bessiedoll Posted April 26, 2012 Author Share Posted April 26, 2012 Wow you must really lurve your job to do a journey like that every day. Can totally understand the complications of a social life with work mates now. I'd go down the neighbour route, they have extended an arm of friendship (or they just want you to cut ya grass LOL). When you go get the mower ask them about local clubs and stuff to do......ask them in for a drink to say thanks. They sound nice people and might also be looking for new friends. I'd also put a meeting up thread on PIO for your area for new friends. All the best its a job, it pays the bills, and it will do until i find something closer to home. the guy next door mowed our lawn once, and my man went round to say thanks, and asked if they wanted anything for it, and the wife said just to talk to them.. so i think that is the foot in the door i needed, and they have just got a new dog, and i love dogs, so thats a conversation starter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lilmissp Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 i have always considered myself to be an outgoing friendly person, and i have always found it easy to make friends... until i came to Oz... OH MY GOD is is difficult.. for example, i went to a wedding with my partner, he was best man, and for 4 hours i sat on my own and didnt speak to anyone. will this ever get easier.. will i ever make friends? I am not in australia yet but can I let you know that could happen even in britain and sometimes people just dont think especially if they have had a drink they probably didnt even know how you were feeling. I think everything is just magnified when you move country and you maybe analyse every situation more deeply because you are away from family. What would you have done if you had went to a wedding at home and that happened, you would probably just say god that was awful glad its over but you wouldnt go around saying I will never make friends again in any situation. Just go with it you will make friends but it just takes time xx in any part of the world and remember pio is here to support you in the mean time.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackinabox Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 its a job, it pays the bills, and it will do until i find something closer to home. the guy next door mowed our lawn once, and my man went round to say thanks, and asked if they wanted anything for it, and the wife said just to talk to them.. so i think that is the foot in the door i needed, and they have just got a new dog, and i love dogs, so thats a conversation starter. You could even get a dog yourself and join a local obedience class to meet new people or start mowing your other neighbours grass in return for a cup of tea. Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bessiedoll Posted April 27, 2012 Author Share Posted April 27, 2012 You could even get a dog yourself and join a local obedience class to meet new people or start mowing your other neighbours grass in return for a cup of tea. Jack i have been trying to get my man to let me get a dog but he wont.. i might see if i can take him to partner obedience classes :biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GeorgeD Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 You could even get a dog yourself and join a local obedience class to meet new people or start mowing your other neighbours grass in return for a cup of tea. Jack We took our dog to the local RSPCA Obedience Class and hoped we would meet some new folks. And we did. And they were all freaks. They all had doggie bum bags for treats and poop bags. They all treated their dogs like humans...basically because they probably couldn't interact very well with other humans. One woman even made a mat for her dog by hand. She embroidered positive messages onto it, "love, respect, joy, etc, etc" Complete and utter fruitcakes. It was this realisation that made us realise what a bunch of fruitcakes we all are...because we were jealous! We wished we had made a mat with stuff written on it, we wished we knew how to do that! People at dog obedience classes are more interested in talking to their dogs than humans, but that doesn't make you a bad person, I think we all have a little bit of that in us! Having said that...a dog is a great help for meeting people...any time we take ours for a walk, someone will stop and talk to us. Always complete strangers. We take him to a local cafe with us and people come up to our table to speak to him, and end up talking to us for ages. We go to the local dog park and people there let their dogs off the lead and the dogs go playing with each other letting the owners all talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bessiedoll Posted April 27, 2012 Author Share Posted April 27, 2012 We took our dog to the local RSPCA Obedience Class and hoped we would meet some new folks. And we did. And they were all freaks. They all had doggie bum bags for treats and poop bags. They all treated their dogs like humans...basically because they probably couldn't interact very well with other humans. One woman even made a mat for her dog by hand. She embroidered positive messages onto it, "love, respect, joy, etc, etc" Complete and utter fruitcakes. It was this realisation that made us realise what a bunch of fruitcakes we all are...because we were jealous! We wished we had made a mat with stuff written on it, we wished we knew how to do that! People at dog obedience classes are more interested in talking to their dogs than humans, but that doesn't make you a bad person, I think we all have a little bit of that in us! hahahahaha that made me chuckle Having said that...a dog is a great help for meeting people...any time we take ours for a walk, someone will stop and talk to us. Always complete strangers. We take him to a local cafe with us and people come up to our table to speak to him, and end up talking to us for ages. We go to the local dog park and people there let their dogs off the lead and the dogs go playing with each other letting the owners all talk. dogs are always a good way to meet people i agree.. he said i can have a dog when we move house.. best get moving soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtct Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Someone said "Australians will not come and knock on your door an bring you into their circle. You have to get yourself out there and introduce yourself". That is so true - well 99.9% of the time. Something very unusual happened to us (the 0.1%) The father of the lady we bough our house from was a similar age to us and a week after we moved in he knocked on the door and invited Clive along to the local Probus group and Bowls Club at Happy Valley. Clive is a member of both now and has made loads of new friends. I have been on a couple of their organised day trips and even a 3 day camping holiday near Victor Harbor. Certainly helped us to settle in quickly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bessiedoll Posted April 27, 2012 Author Share Posted April 27, 2012 Someone said "Australians will not come and knock on your door an bring you into their circle. You have to get yourself out there and introduce yourself". That is so true - well 99.9% of the time. Something very unusual happened to us (the 0.1%) The father of the lady we bough our house from was a similar age to us and a week after we moved in he knocked on the door and invited Clive along to the local Probus group and Bowls Club at Happy Valley. Clive is a member of both now and has made loads of new friends. I have been on a couple of their organised day trips and even a 3 day camping holiday near Victor Harbor. Certainly helped us to settle in quickly! thats really good.. see at home i would have been that person, the one inviting new people in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOTTY Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 We've been here 4 years now and only met one couple that we really hit it off with - then they moved to Perth!!!! Bugger! So back to billy no mates! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 This is my second stint in Surry Hills, and I'm much happier the second time around. I think the difference is that I have 'pushed' myself to talk to people at every opportunity - in cafes, pubs, shops, at the beach, in the street, and I've gradually got to know people, know their names, and they know mine. In earlier times, whether it was in the UK or here, I'd go into a pub and not say a word. Maybe it was shyness, social phobia, whatever, it certainly preyed upon my mind. My friends here are made up fairly equally from Aussies, Pommies, Irish, other immigrants. I know people here from Uruguay, Turkey, Germany. We are all in the same boat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bessiedoll Posted May 8, 2012 Author Share Posted May 8, 2012 i have come to the conclusion that i dont actually have time for a social life.. my job takes up all of my week, and i literally mean 14 hours a day are spent working/travelling to and from work.. then it gets to the weekend and i just want to spend time with my partner.. so maybe not having any friends right now is not such a bad thing, as i dont have to try and find more hours to fit more things in :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 i have come to the conclusion that i dont actually have time for a social life.. my job takes up all of my week, and i literally mean 14 hours a day are spent working/travelling to and from work.. then it gets to the weekend and i just want to spend time with my partner.. so maybe not having any friends right now is not such a bad thing, as i dont have to try and find more hours to fit more things in :biggrin: I don't envy you those fourteen hours a day at work though I do envy you actually having a job! Four hours would be enough for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bessiedoll Posted May 8, 2012 Author Share Posted May 8, 2012 I don't envy you those fourteen hours a day at work though I do envy you actually having a job! Four hours would be enough for me! they are killer days, but i have to do it.. i know what you mean though.. when i moved here i had saved enough to not have to work for 3 months... i was applying for jobs after being here 3 days.. i was going crazy, having always worked since leaving school. i wish i could find something closer to home, but to be honest i am just grateful to have a job, so i am not going to complain.. hope you find something soon xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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