Sharkie999 Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 It really amazes me how many people are in the same situation only minutes away from each other and yet so many people including myself spend a lot of time and effort trying to find new friends with no success. Moving to a new country with a family is difficult and we naturally look for people in the same situation as ourselves thinking this will make it easy to bond. I have made a lot of effort over the years, going to various meet ups, creating local meet-ups, having people to our house for BBQ’s all with expats in the same situation as us, how many people contacted us after it or returned the favour, a big fat 0. After developing a complex and totally giving up on the subject we have become good friends with another family (Australians) through school, over the past year all the little 5 and 10 minute conversations in the morning and afternoon, birthday party meetings, the odd invite to a play centre together etc. have added up and naturally built a trust and friendship. We recently spent a lot of time with the family and realised how much we are alike and like each other. It might sound silly but we really didn’t see this happening, kind of the way you make friends at school or university and don’t really know how you became friends. The point I am trying to make is don’t try to hard or stress over the fact that you can’t make new friends, (it must give off the wrong signal to other people) and just let thing happen naturally. You still need to put yourself out there and be open to new things but the people you meet here are not going to be the same as your best friend from back home but don’t discard them because of it. When you find the people you click with it makes all the difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest littlesarah Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 The thing about friendships, it seems to me, is that there are different types, and we don't all need the same number of each type. I've never had many friends, and I don't put effort into cultivating relationships with people that don't interest me. That sounds horrible, I know, but I just don't see the point of pretending I care deeply about someone if we just don't 'click'. I can go months without speaking to my best friends, never mind those I barely know! That said, I think I'm one of those people who don't need many friends. I enjoy my own company, and I prefer socialising with one or two others rather than a crowd of 20. But then, I'm also a bit of a misfit, so I suspect I'm not always the easiest person to hang out with (nerd, nerd, always the nerd!)!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharkie999 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 I agree and have always had a small group of friends also. We are all guilty of just not bothering with people that we dont care about and I think thats the problem with this era of online friend finding, sure you may eventually meet someone you click with after you have ditched and been ditched by a lot of others, but the old fashioned way of just talking to people without the pressure of a pre-arranged meetup can be a lot easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest littlesarah Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I think there's something about modern life that suggests that having lots of casual acquaintances and calling them 'friends' is somehow more desirable than having friends that we invite over for drinks and a BBQ, or that we go to the beach with, or whatever. Not that I have a problem with that per se, it's just not what I choose for myself (seeing as I barely have time for my real-world mates, never mind those I don't really know at all!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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