caramac Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Good post other than, IME the last thing that teenagers think about is worrying their parents. Nobody likes to slag their own kids but if we wre to be honest about the majority, and how we were ourselves, the only important things in their life, and ours at their age is "self"..................it isn't intended as deorogatory, but merely an observation of the reality of "growing up" that I have experienced from my own and other kids, and any parent/kid who hasn't experienced that, should be, IME, ready for worse things to come in more mature years..............if they don't experience it as teenagers, then they will experience it later, I think most of them go through that stage, which is why I used the toddler analogy (teens are like large toddlers without the advantage of being cute :wink:), but IME (ours are 19, 17 and 15) it doesn't last the whole 7 years - thank god - I'd have moved out by now!! Our eldest is definitely going through a late egocentric stage, but was very easy in her early teens. We're still waiting for the middle one to go through the Terrible Twos! She's just a dream to be around, but she would definitely be in the 'not wanting to worry her parents' group. Just waiting for what the youngest wants to throw at us... But you're right they can all twist their experiences to suit their agenda! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Good post other than, IME the last thing that teenagers think about is worrying their parents. Nobody likes to slag their own kids but if we wre to be honest about the majority, and how we were ourselves, the only important things in their life, and ours at their age is "self"..................it isn't intended as deorogatory, but merely an observation of the reality of "growing up" that I have experienced from my own and other kids, and any parent/kid who hasn't experienced that, should be, IME, ready for worse things to come in more mature years..............if they don't experience it as teenagers, then they will experience it later, Very true John, the separation of the self from parents that is initial in toddlers needs to complete in teenagers or there is trouble ahead. I worked with troubled teenagers and I remember a psychotherapist saying to me that those that don't develop a strong ego (sense of self) in the teenage 'life crisis' are far more likely to have a breakdown mid-life. Thank god I was a truly awful teenager On the other hand as it is 'work in progress' I think they do still worry about their parents - I know I certainly did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 I think if you read all the posts on this thread properly, you will see that mostly everyone agrees that it is teenage rebellion as much as anything, but also everyone is saying that communications between the parents and child isso important.... even suggesting that a counsellor be involved.... We all agree that you don't just tell a child/teenager to suck it up and get on with it. This might have happened to you and I can imagine that would cause great bitterness and yes even lead to alcohol abuse and mental issues, but this is not what people are advocating here. Therefore my opinion is that your last three sentences are incredibly harsh and unjustified. This isn't about me. I buried my demons a long time ago. I've moved on and apart from my illness, life is pretty damn good. But I was in a very dark place for a while at an age when I wasn't prepared to deal with it. Sorry if I shocked you. But some shocks are better than others. http://www.dhi.health.nsw.gov.au/ArticleDocuments/1513/Ide.%20Diversite%203%202011.pdf.aspx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairystar32 Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Hi, I havent read all the replies. We came when our eldest was 14, it was VERY hard for him and he wanted to go home for 2 yrs. He did not like it here, didnt like the heat, struggled to make friends and missed his childhood friends. However as he left the school system and changed to Uni and got more independance, he made friends (much different than the UK, not always together but still connected) he has meets ups with them and he changed his mind. He tells me his likes it here now and if he had the choice he would not go back to the UK, we also did a visit to the Uk and he realised it wasnt how he thought, they live as if time doesnt move on and it does. He now tells me he gets why we moved, is glad his kids will be raised here and would only go back for holidays, so there is a good chance he will settle xx He also told me that it was difficult the age he was due to the school system, meeting new people at that age, trying to fit in and struggling with the heat, he tells me now he hated it. Starting fresh at Uni w with all other newbies after being here for a few yrs and getting used to how things worked and the heat helped a lot for him to settle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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