blossom Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 This is what always worried me. So many women told me I MUST NOT miss the chance to have children because, "you may not want a baby now, but you will adore it when it arrives". But I know that's doesn't happen to 100% of women, so what if it didn't happen to me? That worried me too. Then when I got pregnant I would hear all these people saying how much they loved their baby already, all the surging hormones etc, and I felt nothing. Until I put on weight I wouldn't have even known I was pregnant. Kicking I found annoying (hiccups especially). It would quite upset me. When giving birth I was in so much pain that I just wanted it over. They kept telling me 'baby's heart beat is really good'. I kept answering with 'I don't care'. When they handed her to me all I could think was 'I wanted a boy. She smells terrible. She's so big (9lb3). She's not very pretty.' By the next day I realised she was very pretty and we've just got better and better. Probably helped because she is a good baby. She was laughing from 4 weeks (I hadn't realised how early that was until I got lots of comments on a video I put of her on Facebook'. She's been a great sleeper too, and I'm good with lack of sleep anyway, so getting up once a night for most of her life has been a breeze. Had she been a crying baby I'm sure it would be much harder. But yes, those worries were real for me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Thanks for being so honest because I've worried that would happen to me too if I have one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bound4Tassie Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Sadly physiology is not a respecter of women's lib. Well that's it girls, Parley has spoken! If you're 20-29 grab the nearest male and get on with it! What's that he's not ready for commitment? You still live with your parents? You have no job? You have a career you love? You're at uni getting an education? No no no! Forget all that! It's now or never! You'll never be a mother if you don't do it now and after all, that's all you were ever meant to be!! Right I'm off to burn my bra and go to bed. Anon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritChickx Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Well that's it girls, Parley has spoken! If you're 20-29 grab the nearest male and get on with it! What's that he's not ready for commitment? You still live with your parents? You have no job? You have a career you love? You're at uni getting an education? No no no! Forget all that! It's now or never! You'll never be a mother if you don't do it now and after all, that's all you were ever meant to be!! Right I'm off to burn my bra and go to bed. Anon. Hahaha, brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Well that's it girls, Parley has spoken! If you're 20-29 grab the nearest male and get on with it! What's that he's not ready for commitment? You still live with your parents? You have no job? You have a career you love? You're at uni getting an education? No no no! Forget all that! It's now or never! You'll never be a mother if you don't do it now and after all, that's all you were ever meant to be!! Right I'm off to burn my bra and go to bed. Anon. Haha love this. Right next week I'm off to find someone to have babies with. I'm 25 this year.. Not getting any younger. My mum can keep it while I go on holiday :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I don't think any of us who aren't maternal ever know how we'll feel. Three kids later and I still wouldn't call myself maternal. I don't do babies and kids even now. Looking forward to my Grandmother cuddles though :wubclub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I still laugh at myself about my attitude pre babies. when pregnant with my first, I told everyone not to say he /she is gorgeous, as I knew that all babies looked the same! fast forward to birth of no1 son, all said he's gorgeous, and I knew they were right because he was! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Don't all newborn babies look like Winston Churchill ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Like little aliens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I don't think any of us who aren't maternal ever know how we'll feel. Three kids later and I still wouldn't call myself maternal. I don't do babies and kids even now. Looking forward to my Grandmother cuddles though :wubclub: Glad someone else owns up to not doing babies and kids. Same here :wink: I really can't be bothered with anyone else's baby or toddler. Just this morning as I was ambling around the supermarket there was a child screaming like a stuck pig and another one roaring it's head off. Felt sorry for the young Mums but Jeez! I couldn't get out of the place fast enough. Funnily enough, I have never ending patience with animals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Glad someone else owns up to not doing babies and kids. Same here :wink: I really can't be bothered with anyone else's baby or toddler. Just this morning as I was ambling around the supermarket there was a child screaming like a stuck pig and another one roaring it's head off. Felt sorry for the young Mums but Jeez! I couldn't get out of the place fast enough. Funnily enough, I have never ending patience with animals. I'm a bit like that. Just feel sorry for them all meeting up in cafes with their wailing offspring....I like my own and friends kids but that's about it. Canines are far more appealing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Oh don't get me started on the yummy mummy cafes :laugh: To be avoided at all times unless you have a baby/toddler of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I wonder what causes a woman not to have any maternal instinct. In most species and most humans it is there naturally and an extreme emotion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I don't think I'm a particularly maternal person but I do like having kids about. They are funny and make you laugh and can bring a smile to your face. And they're fun and you get to be a kid again and be silly with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I wonder what causes a woman not to have any maternal instinct.In most species and most humans it is there naturally and an extreme emotion. I've seen a few mum animals kill and eat their babies..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I don't think I'm a particularly maternal person but I do like having kids about. They are funny and make you laugh and can bring a smile to your face. And they're fun and you get to be a kid again and be silly with them. Once they are past the toddler stage or the terrible twos, you're right .... they are a lot of fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi from Manchester Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 There's a reason babies and toddlers are so cute - they'd definitely get abandoned more often if they weren't. A friend recently announced she was pregnant with twins, and I noticed all the other parents looking aghast for a brief second before offering their congratulations, I think I did too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 God some people talk a lot of rubbish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bound4Tassie Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 (edited) Glad someone else owns up to not doing babies and kids. Same here :wink: I really can't be bothered with anyone else's baby or toddler. Just this morning as I was ambling around the supermarket there was a child screaming like a stuck pig and another one roaring it's head off. Felt sorry for the young Mums but Jeez! I couldn't get out of the place fast enough. Funnily enough, I have never ending patience with animals. Totally agree! Give me a puppy or kitten to coo over anyday! Lol! Although my opinion on screaming supermarket kids has softened a little! It used to be ' why cant they shut that little s**t up'. Now I have a bit more empathy / pity for the parent! I avoid taking my toddler to a supermarket at all costs! Baby is ok for now if I time it when she's asleep! Edited February 8, 2015 by Bound4Tassie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bound4Tassie Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 There's a reason babies and toddlers are so cute - they'd definitely get abandoned more often if they weren't. A friend recently announced she was pregnant with twins, and I noticed all the other parents looking aghast for a brief second before offering their congratulations, I think I did too! Many a time I've muttered under my breath to the toddler..."It's a good job you're good looking because your personality is not going to win you many friends!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bound4Tassie Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 God some people talk a lot of rubbish. Good of you to admit it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I wonder what causes a woman not to have any maternal instinct.In most species and most humans it is there naturally and an extreme emotion. Humans are on a spectrum for all characteristics - from nil to extreme. This applies to parenting and applies to both women and men. Some animals fail to bond or completely abandon their offspring and mothering characteristics can vary considerably, even between different breeds of the same species. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I wonder what causes a woman not to have any maternal instinct.In most species and most humans it is there naturally and an extreme emotion. See, that's the kind of statement that upsets me. That statement implies there is something "unnatural" because I don't feel clucky about babies. I don't think you can say that of other species, because other species don't know how to use birth control - they don't have babies because they have a maternal instinct, they have babies because they're an inevitable consequence of sex! Besides, many other species don't take any interest in babies which are not their own - and mamy even kill other mother's offspring which suggests the opposite! After a baby is born, then that's a different kind of maternal instinct. I do know women who couldn't be bothered with babies before their own child arrived, and then they were devoted. Again, however, I don't think you can draw any conclusion from other species or even from women in general: you don't know how they feel, only how they behave. If I had ever got pregnant, there is no way I would've walked away from that child - it would be my responsibility as a human being, regardless of whether I turned all gooey-eyed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 See, that's the kind of statement that upsets me. That statement implies there is something "unnatural" because I don't feel clucky about babies. I don't think you can say that of other species, because other species don't know how to use birth control - they don't have babies because they have a maternal instinct, they have babies because they're an inevitable consequence of sex! Besides, many other species don't take any interest in babies which are not their own - and mamy even kill other mother's offspring which suggests the opposite! After a baby is born, then that's a different kind of maternal instinct. I do know women who couldn't be bothered with babies before their own child arrived, and then they were devoted. Again, however, I don't think you can draw any conclusion from other species or even from women in general: you don't know how they feel, only how they behave. If I had ever got pregnant, there is no way I would've walked away from that child - it would be my responsibility as a human being, regardless of whether I turned all gooey-eyed. I think it's perfectly natural and normal and good on you for not being pressured into doing something you didn't want to do. I have a friend Lisa who was fantastic with my children, would play with them until the cows came home but she never ever wanted any of her own. She loved her independence and fortunately met a man who felt exactly the same. If my first hadn't been a happy accident I may not have had them who knows. My EX wasn't very keen. I'd never even held a baby until mine was put in my arms, Id always refused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 The suggestion that a mother would abandon her baby if it wasn't cute enough is very low imo. I cannot imagine any mother doing that. But obviously some of the mums agree and have given it a like. I hope to God these Mums have very cute babies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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