Djwbru Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 How did you tell your family of your intent to emigrate? How did you expect them to react, and how did they react? We are telling MIL this weekend and not expecting it to go well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 Cant remember, think I called them but had no expectations at all. It was a very long time ago and we just did it, didn't give them a thought to be honest, just upped and took their only grandson away from them. People these days seem to be more sensitive to what other people think about what they do with their lives. You might be right, the MIL might cut you out of the will but if you let someone else's opinions about your life get in your way you will be stymied. Grief does weird things to people and if you expect that what you get will be a grief reaction you might be able to cope with it better. Remember that the MIL will be losing a really important part of her life and, for her, it might well be like a death, if she chooses to treat it like that, well, so be it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 We didn't have children when we moved to Australia. My husband's mother had died a year before we moved and he wanted to stay around for his little sister for a while. They were born in Australia but moved back to the UK when fairly young. My Mum was all for us moving but of course there were tears on both sides when we did. Like Quoll said it was a long time ago now. Mum loved coming for her holidays here and we managed to visit her too. It's not easy let me tell you but you have to live your own lives. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 (edited) Like Quoll says, imagine how you would feel if someone took your child to the other side of the world? Some grandmothers are every bit as attached to their grandchildren as a mother. If she's one of them, now you know the heartbreak she is going to feel. Because of that pain, she may behave strangely, lash out, sulk, or whatever - but try to remember how you'd feel without your child, and that will help you be understanding. Edited August 3, 2018 by Marisawright 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
can1983 Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 It isn't easy, In our case my sister and I have both moved within a year and that is all of our parents children and grandchildren living on the other side of the world. However in our case both our partners are Australian and so its always been a probability/possibility it was going to happen. If your family are all from the UK I would probably think in terms of why you are doing it as a kind of selling it without bagging out the uk too much! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alltogethernow Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 One of our big regrets was telling people too early. We should have said nothing, the amount of negative interference we endured was unreal. In fact, and irrespective of how successful our migration was, we're due apologies in my opinion (I'll be waiting). ATN 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WizardofOz2018 Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 A really useful thread. @ATN These are our reasons for not telling anyone, a shame people are so critical and judgemental over our decisions hey? It must have been really tricky for you. We have not told any family or friends at all. We have told our line managers at work, and my HR (I'm main applicant) that way we felt we do not have to tell people too much too early and risk 'untelling' them if it doesn't work out. So it's a very hard thing to do, not letting anything slip at all in conversation but it's been worth it. Two days ago we have just received the invitation through and it is starting to mean something for us. I dread having to tell the family but it's mainly my mum who lives in the uk near us. My sister and her family emigrated from SA To New Zealand 10 years ago. At least my mum has been through this before but it will still be very difficult! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetBlast Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 I had to tell people at work and past employers for references etc. I needed help from a few people for the English exam. A few other reasons I needed to tell people. I decided to tell my parents early before someone else did. Rather they got it from me than someone else. Plus I think it helps to slowly get them used to it than a "big bang". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djwbru Posted August 3, 2018 Author Share Posted August 3, 2018 Thanks everyone for your comments. Its intresting and reassuring hearing about other peoples experiences. My mum has known all along as we are very close, and she's been so super supportive. It's my MIL who is the worry. We mentioned the idea a couple of years ago and she shot us down instantly and we haven't dare mention it again. It is going to break her heart as we will be taking her only 2 grandchildren with us. The last thing we want to do is hurt her but there's no way around it. We want to go; we are going, and I just hope she understands our reasons one day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alltogethernow Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 2 hours ago, Djwbru said: Thanks everyone for your comments. Its intresting and reassuring hearing about other peoples experiences. My mum has known all along as we are very close, and she's been so super supportive. It's my MIL who is the worry. We mentioned the idea a couple of years ago and she shot us down instantly and we haven't dare mention it again. It is going to break her heart as we will be taking her only 2 grandchildren with us. The last thing we want to do is hurt her but there's no way around it. We want to go; we are going, and I just hope she understands our reasons one day. Good for you. Make sure you follow through. ATN 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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