Moving back after 13 years

[mrcatania]

Listen K, don't be down. I was also an EO in the civil service, with a good pension and life. I lived in a beaut' village and had a great social circle. I gave it all up [and I mean house, son (he's still at uni'), parents (who have no other family), friends etc, at the age of young 49] to marry an Aussie, who I didn't know that well. I've been here for a year now and I'm finding it hard, but..... I've found myself a job working in a British pub and I've joined a singing group. I'm going to join an out rigging team too [i've never done it, but hey.. I'll try]. I try to visit different places too - like going for walks to the hinterland and having coffee in little villages. I sometimes feel like life's not worth living, but do you know what - I go on Google Earth, and I 'virtually walk' down the streets, and I think... hey Australia isn't so bad. I think 'home' is where your life is; and you sound like you haven't one yet; and no one, esp' your hubby will get you one; so... you have to do it yourself. Girl power... you have to get up, find a job, join a club, get out walking, cycling etc, and think; this isn't forever, because you know K, nothing is! The UK is bad at the mo'..and I don't mean the weather. My Mum says it's just awful; job losses etc - even the Civil Service - there's no guarantee you wouldn't have lost your job. I've had a complete life change - no desk, just a bar and coffee area & I love it. I still cry - uncontrollably, but it's getting less frequent. If you really get that bad K, please go home to the UK, for a month. But I suggest you get a job and join as many clubs as you can. I totally understand you, but don't be down; you know things have a way of working themselves out. Also K, may I ask, do you have your health?.... if so, you're 90% there! Every single person I meet says it takes 2 to 5 yrs to settle - all ages; so if that's the case; you'll get there. Please think positive - the UK is fantastic I know, but..... like in death, we always remember the good, never the bad and the reasons we wanted a life change. Keep active, keep smiling and you will, as I will, get there, to a place you'll feel happy in. I promise. Chris.

A very good post which I am sure many will find helpful. There are alot of us that feel like this. However, you have to want it bad enough to do all the things you mentioned and put yourself through hell and back for 2 years before it gets better... unfortunately I no longer do. I no longer want a new life out here, just the one I had before back.......'sigh!'

[Guest Mr Happy]

Where are you living might I ask?

[Guest Blackpool-Aus]

A very good post which I am sure many will find helpful. There are alot of us that feel like this. However, you have to want it bad enough to do all the things you mentioned and put yourself through hell and back for 2 years before it gets better... unfortunately I no longer do. I no longer want a new life out here, just the one I had before back.......'sigh!'

Then you have to go back and pick up your old life. It can be done. If your hubby and son stay, you'll have to see them when you can. Good luck honey.

[Guest Jerusalem]

It must be something about 1997.I came here then too and would love to go back.I've been back a couple of times and things have changed, but they've changed a lot here too in 13 years.It's got harder here, not better.It used to be good value for money, one of the pluses to moving here, but not anymore.I don't even feel safe here now.We had a couple of shootings nearby just the other night.It's a shame because it should have been a good place to live, but I suppose like everywhere things change, and not always for the better.Unfortunately, I have a family that won't budge, but I live in hope.

Good luck to you.

[Guest byron]

Hi Everyone,

 

My first post! I came to Aus in 1997 as a backpacker and never wanted to go back to UK again. I felt trapped, unhappy etc. Now I can't wait to go back "home". As soon as I arrived I started thinking about staying long term.

 

What changed? Looking back I probably came here for adventeure and to be my own person. I have achieved that and after getting married to an Aussie, becoming an Australian Citizen and having a young son I'm ready for the next chapter to start.

 

Australia is still a great place to live if you love the heat and the life-style but as others have said it lacks alot of things that both me and my wife miss. Culture, decent motorbike roads, too far from Europe, can't drive over 80mph without getting locked up etc. And the heat is annoying, too hot to even ride a bike or go outside during the main part of the day!

 

We are luckier than alot of people who I have been reading about in that we did not come over here in the last few years (during which time the exchange rate has tumbled) so its only after reading on here that I have noticed things are expensive. I came over with a back-pack and that's it. I'm not leaving with a "truck load of cash" but have about 20k pounds that should help us get settled in the UK.

 

Also having to worry about the kids is something to consider but as our Son is only 16months the whole getting them back in the correct school etc is not an issue. Maybe one day it will be ehy?

 

Re-locating is still a big deal though and obviously our main worry is me finding a job but my family is still there so we hope not to be completely homeless if things do not work out. Anyone need a Management Accountant in Bristol area?

 

Anyway we move back in May (just in time for the World Cup!) and hopefully a life of country pubs, Walkers Crisps, kicking the leaves and drives to the countryside. Actually we went out last weekend and it rained. We ended up sitting in the car with the Windscreen wipers going eating Fish and Chips. Just like we did when Mum and Dad took us to Clacton-on-Sea! Home sweet home ehy.

 

If things don't work out in UK our Plan B is move to France, Plan C? Melbourne.

 

To all those people moving back to England; as others have said at least you have had the balls to give it a go and best wishes on settling back home

 

After re-reading this post I'm not so sure if it makes sense or even has a point to it but there you go.

 

All that's left to say is "COME ON ENGLAND!"

 

bet you come back :hug:

[Guest Blackpool-Aus]

It must be something about 1997.I came here then too and would love to go back.I've been back a couple of times and things have changed, but they've changed a lot here too in 13 years.It's got harder here, not better.It used to be good value for money, one of the pluses to moving here, but not anymore.I don't even feel safe here now.We had a couple of shootings nearby just the other night.It's a shame because it should have been a good place to live, but I suppose like everywhere things change, and not always for the better.Unfortunately, I have a family that won't budge, but I live in hope.

Good luck to you.

You know, I'm settling a bit now, and when I speak to my Mum and listen to the world radio, I realise there's so much happening in the Uk that I'm prob' better off here on the Sunshine Coast. But... I know how you feel and you've been here so much longer. I miss the UK so much, but like in grief, I always think of the good times; not the driving to work, the cold, the diff' cultures [that aren't always good in a small country-any country] and the fights and murders too; because yes, the UK has more per square mile than OZ. However, you have to be happy, and there's so many Brits go back, and then return again to OZ. I wish you the best - and it's saying something if your family won't move - they must love it here. Regards and wishes, Chris.:smile:

[Guest Jerusalem]

Well, I don't know if it's because they love it here, or more like they couldn't face another move.The kids seem to consider themselves Aussies now and that has a large bearing on things.

I don't think murders per square mile is a fair comparison to make with Australia, when there are 60+million in the UK living in an area the size of Victoria, but there are only 20+million living here, an area larger than Europe.

I guess it's all about perception.Whereas I used to read about the stabbings and shootings in the newspaper in London, here they are on our doorstep and we don't need the papers to find out about them.

We have experienced crime personally a number of times here.something I can say never happened in 30+ years living in the UK.

I don't know if that's the way Australia is now, or maybe it's just Melbourne.

[Guest Blackpool-Aus]

Well, I don't know if it's because they love it here, or more like they couldn't face another move.The kids seem to consider themselves Aussies now and that has a large bearing on things.

I don't think murders per square mile is a fair comparison to make with Australia, when there are 60+million in the UK living in an area the size of Victoria, but there are only 20+million living here, an area larger than Europe.

I guess it's all about perception.Whereas I used to read about the stabbings and shootings in the newspaper in London, here they are on our doorstep and we don't need the papers to find out about them.

We have experienced crime personally a number of times here.something I can say never happened in 30+ years living in the UK.

I don't know if that's the way Australia is now, or maybe it's just Melbourne.

Yes, I see what you mean; and living in Melbourne is so different from here on the Sunsh'Coast. When ppl ask me what it's like to live in Australia; I say I don't know - I only know what it's like in my town. Aus' is so vast, the size of Europe, but with only the outskirts covered. I watched Andrew Marr's programme last night about England from the sky - it was so interesting, and it does show the UK as a very vibrant place to live - very organised too. I'm like you, I don't know if Aus' is for me yet, it may be - but until I go back to the UK for a while and stay there, I won't know - which is silly, as I've lived there for 48 years [inc' some years travelling abroad]. My son is doing his 3rd yr degree in the UK, and he's coming over here to live with us - with the view to moving to Melbourne in Oct' this year - he's an athlete and the coaches in Melbourne are better for middle distance runners. Listening to you, and others, I now wonder if it's the right thing for him, and it worries me so much. But what would I do if I went back? I'm a civil servant, or was... now I'm in hospitality, and I love it. Do I want the hum drum of the winters there? And now, what would I do for money in the UK? I do understand, really, but it's so hard. You say you don't know if it's because your kids love it here, or more like they couldn't face another move. You say the kids seem to consider themselves Aussies now and that has a large bearing on things; but it sounds like you haven't confirmed any of this. You should know if it's because they love it or because of the move. Ask them, and have a good ol' family get together, telling each other how you all feel. They may not really know what's in your heart. Anyway, take care - it's difficult I know, but things do have a way of working themselves out you know. B-O

[Guest lifeinmono]

Hi Chris. If you're down this way and fancy a coffee, there are a couple of Blackpool familes who will gladly remind you of why they think Blackpool is crap. There's been times when I've really missed the place but then I get to thinking of why we left and then the good things that we left, don't seem as important.

 

:hug: Cheer up chook, you sound in a bad way. PM me if you want someone to chat to.

 

kev

 

That would be right.

 

He's wrong to miss the UK. He just needs reminding of why it's crap. That'll learn him.

 

Good on you, Kev. Got it all worked out, haven't you?

:shocked:

[Guest chris955]

I could tell people why I think Geelong is crap and I would never go back but better to let people find out themselves :biggrin:

[Guest Perth Princess]

A very good post which I am sure many will find helpful. There are alot of us that feel like this. However, you have to want it bad enough to do all the things you mentioned and put yourself through hell and back for 2 years before it gets better... unfortunately I no longer do. I no longer want a new life out here, just the one I had before back.......'sigh!'

 

Me too :cry:

[bunbury61]

Listen K, don't be down. I was also an EO in the civil service, with a good pension and life. I lived in a beaut' village and had a great social circle. I gave it all up [and I mean house, son (he's still at uni'), parents (who have no other family), friends etc, at the age of young 49] to marry an Aussie, who I didn't know that well. I've been here for a year now and I'm finding it hard, but..... I've found myself a job working in a British pub and I've joined a singing group. I'm going to join an out rigging team too [i've never done it, but hey.. I'll try]. I try to visit different places too - like going for walks to the hinterland and having coffee in little villages. I sometimes feel like life's not worth living, but do you know what - I go on Google Earth, and I 'virtually walk' down the streets, and I think... hey Australia isn't so bad. I think 'home' is where your life is; and you sound like you haven't one yet; and no one, esp' your hubby will get you one; so... you have to do it yourself. Girl power... you have to get up, find a job, join a club, get out walking, cycling etc, and think; this isn't forever, because you know K, nothing is! The UK is bad at the mo'..and I don't mean the weather. My Mum says it's just awful; job losses etc - even the Civil Service - there's no guarantee you wouldn't have lost your job. I've had a complete life change - no desk, just a bar and coffee area & I love it. I still cry - uncontrollably, but it's getting less frequent. If you really get that bad K, please go home to the UK, for a month. But I suggest you get a job and join as many clubs as you can. I totally understand you, but don't be down; you know things have a way of working themselves out. Also K, may I ask, do you have your health?.... if so, you're 90% there! Every single person I meet says it takes 2 to 5 yrs to settle - all ages; so if that's the case; you'll get there. Please think positive - the UK is fantastic I know, but..... like in death, we always remember the good, never the bad and the reasons we wanted a life change. Keep active, keep smiling and you will, as I will, get there, to a place you'll feel happy in. I promise. Chris.

 

You are right about one thing Chris .....Blackpool is a ****hole ( las vegas after a nuclear war), and there are many places like it in the uk .

Brum where iam from , Blackburn , Burnley , Wolverhampton.to name a few

But even in the worst areas .......(, .some of which i work in ) , i have never seen the abject poverty i saw in some of the forgotten areas of Australia ,such as Roebourne.

I heard on the radio today ,that even the poorest people , the very poorest in the u.k are in the top 1% of wealthiest people on the planet.

Could you say the same about some of Aboriginal areas of australia ?

ps this is not a "pro pom" statement to get a reaction ......it just seems a lot of the unsavoury issues in oz are conveniently swept under the carpet.

It reminds me of the time i was in santa monica , californa .

Weve all seen the ferraris and lambos driving along the beach front , but you never see the people living under bits of cardboard only yards away.

[Guest JOHN ODonnell]

Thanks for your post. I read the posts from people going home to make me more cautious about going full steam into Australia.......you did not put me off. Your right in essence that there's no place like home, fish n chips, the wild coast and reasonable roads............I considered the position and cant wait to secure a job in Auz and finding a good solar panel...............cheers.....john

[Guest Blackpool-Aus]

You are right about one thing Chris .....Blackpool is a ****hole ( las vegas after a nuclear war), and there are many places like it in the uk .

Brum where iam from , Blackburn , Burnley , Wolverhampton.to name a few

But even in the worst areas .......(, .some of which i work in ) , i have never seen the abject poverty i saw in some of the forgotten areas of Australia ,such as Roebourne.

I heard on the radio today ,that even the poorest people , the very poorest in the u.k are in the top 1% of wealthiest people on the planet.

Could you say the same about some of Aboriginal areas of australia ?

ps this is not a "pro pom" statement to get a reaction ......it just seems a lot of the unsavoury issues in oz are conveniently swept under the carpet.

It reminds me of the time i was in santa monica , californa .

Weve all seen the ferraris and lambos driving along the beach front , but you never see the people living under bits of cardboard only yards away.

OH I KNOW.... I've lived in Africa, and I totally understand. Poverty isn't really an issue here; but lifestyle is. I still feel sick in side, esp' in the mornings, but I do have to change it. I feel sooooo sorry for Brits who can't settle, I've felt sorry for myself; but the only solution really, is to go back to the UK for a month - then for good if it's not right. I'm lost - only other Brits know what 'we' all mean; but I'm a fighter, and I have to go on fighting, even at young 50. I miss Europe and all the infastructure, but I'd miss Oz too, so what to do you do? I think it's an individual thing....BUT, if a person isn't happy, then there's no point going on - change it. Good luck and thanks for all the posts - really. Chris.

[bunbury61]

OH I KNOW.... I've lived in Africa, and I totally understand. Poverty isn't really an issue here; but lifestyle is. I still feel sick in side, esp' in the mornings, but I do have to change it. I feel sooooo sorry for Brits who can't settle, I've felt sorry for myself; but the only solution really, is to go back to the UK for a month - then for good if it's not right. I'm lost - only other Brits know what 'we' all mean; but I'm a fighter, and I have to go on fighting, even at young 50. I miss Europe and all the infastructure, but I'd miss Oz too, so what to do you do? I think it's an individual thing....BUT, if a person isn't happy, then there's no point going on - change it. Good luck and thanks for all the posts - really. Chris.

 

my answer Chris .......if i had to make one choice .

Living in Europe is a pipe dream ,love visiting it , but couldnt live there ....language etc

I have lived in Oz and love it , but right now not for me .....maybe one day

If i had to make one choice , it would be to move somewhere else in England .

North Devon probably, ......the greenery ,,,,,the ocean ,,,,,more laid back .

Northumberland ......North Yorkshire .....and a host of other places ,could be in the frame

It certainly wouldnt be Brum or Blackpool:biglaugh:

[Guest Blackpool-Aus]

my answer Chris .......if i had to make one choice .

Living in Europe is a pipe dream ,love visiting it , but couldnt live there ....language etc

I have lived in Oz and love it , but right now not for me .....maybe one day

If i had to make one choice , it would be to move somewhere else in England .

North Devon probably, ......the greenery ,,,,,the ocean ,,,,,more laid back .

Northumberland ......North Yorkshire .....and a host of other places ,could be in the frame

It certainly wouldnt be Brum or Blackpool:biglaugh:

If I could wave a magic wand, I'd move to Nth Yorks. However, I haven't seen much of oz - my son wants to live in Melbourne - he's an athlete, presently studying in the UK. I'm torn, but I'm sure it'll work out. Where are you living now? C .

[Guest Julie Glenn]

How did u meet ya hubby? I met an Australian in Bfd and have moved to Oz, bin ere 15mnth & miss the UK, friends n family...how r u going?

[Guest Blackpool-Aus]

How did u meet ya hubby? I met an Australian in Bfd and have moved to Oz, bin ere 15mnth & miss the UK, friends n family...how r u going?

 

Very much like you Julie. Met, married and moved my life here, leaving a great job, my own house [i sold it], my elderly parents [they have no one else], my good girl friends, and my son who's at uni. I'm like you, I miss the UK and all the other things. I'm not doing too good, but I get through each day. I'm working in an English bar, but it's all ozzies who come in. It's hard Julie, but ev'one says it takes about 2 to 3 yrs to settle. Some don't. My Mum's coming out here on the 8th May, so see where I live etc. Where in oz are you? I'm on the sunshine coast, about one hr north of Brisbane. C.

[missymon212]

just in time for the great british summer too.

 

Sophi:wubclub:

 

Great British summer:laugh:

[Guest chris955]

I'm feeling too happy today.

[missymon212]

I'm feeling too happy today.

 

I would never have guessed!!:nah:

[Guest Julie Glenn]

Iam living in Melbourne abt 1.5hr's out of the city on the Mornington Penninsula...nofn like the pennines tho!! How long av u bin in Oz? I have travelled round a bit in Oz & bin close to Brisbane (travelled by car frm the Gold Coast to Noosa). I feel like a teenager where I have nofn & av 2 strt agen!! I may av a job now, but its wrkn in the city, which is a long trek, but i dnt av a car!! Anyway, these roads throw me iam not as confident at driving as i was in the UK!! I like u, as a gud job, grt social life, lots of friends which i av ad for years, a big family...u just carnt replace em! Did u av 2 marry ya husband quickly? I hardly knew myn b4 i ad 2 marry im!!! My family cud not believe me!! x

[Guest thesnoopyace]

Have you Thought about Removals back to the uk? It can be a very stressful time i wish you well on your journey home my Friend.

 

Dan