Guest One Hour Photo Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Good evening, I have tried this before without success - but hey I'm desperate so I will give it another go. I am pretty sure there is no-one on this site who lives anywhere near me, say within 30k's (any farther than that is not practical for me) but maybe someone knows people or has relatives around here. So if you know anyone in these towns who might be prepared to offer some kindness and welcome to a very miserable, single outsider please ask them if they would be interested in meeting me for lunch, or even inviting me to a BBQ, anything really, I promise to be clean and tidy, smile and not spit on the floor. ..... Here goes: Wangaratta. Cobram Yarrawonga Mulwala Corowa Numurka Tungamah. Benalla. Its very small town around here and people don't seem interested in involving outsiders. When I have tried to do anything I have been frozen out, its pretty upsetting at times. I don’t smoke, drink a little occasionally, not into religion (religion is big out here) I am reasonably fit (I am going for a bike ride tomorrow – it gets me out and I can do it on my own). I do business with people but that’s different from having people to be with on a personal or social level - I like dogs so I can’t be all bad. Can’t remember the last time I had a real conversation (how are you today from a supermarket checkout operator does not count) or went out socially. After so many years in isolation my social skills may not be the best but you would hope people might make some allowances and show some consideration for how difficult things are for me and show some support and kindness. If you do know of anyone can you ask them if they are willing to get in touch - I don't want to approach anyone without their permission because it’s a bit of a liberty and if they brush me off (as they have every right to do) it gets embarrassing and depressing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibbah24 Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Jeez...it sounds as if you are having a hard time of it at the moment. Unfortunately me and my gang are still in the UK so no chance of a catch up but I just wanted to drop a note through to say keep your spirits up, stay positive and you will eventually attract the right people. Those not interested in including 'outsiders' are lacking in some key social skills....their loss! I think it's a good idea to join these forums and see who may be near by so good luck and I hope things pick up soon. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Oh you poor thing, can you join a cycling club or something, then you are doing what you like and are with people who do the same, where I live the cyclists stop at cafes to grab a coffee so it is very social. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest One Hour Photo Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 I understand people are busy with their work, families etc. and I know there is no-one here anywhere near me but ..... if you could have an ask around if anyone does no anyone here or who visits this area on some sort of regular basis who might have room in their life to include someone else. There are times when I would just like to have someone to call and ask if I could go round for a coffee, some company on a dog walk, lunch at the pub, just normal sorts of things. When I came here, 5 years ago, I seem to recal a couple of locals asking me if I wanted to go to church, I might be desparate but there are limits, once they realised I wasn't 'one of them' that was it. To be fair I think they were right, people usually want those they mix with on a social basis to have things in common with them. None of us can just mix with anyone, there needs to be some common ground and shared values and interests. I wouldn't expect people in their 20's to want my company, people to whom religion, star signs etc. are real would drive me even crazier than I am now. I realise there is a bit more to having regular friends and company we need to find people we like and who like us. I am not very hopeful - take this as a warning be very very careful where you move to. Most people in these small towns (especially those over 45) live in a very small world of their own family and local gossip, they have limited interests and no curiosity about the outside world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 I remember your posts from before ... cant' rember the suggetions given though ... sorry you're still in the same position .... If it's so bad ... can you move closer to a bigger town? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 Good evening, I have tried this before without success - but hey I'm desperate so I will give it another go. I am pretty sure there is no-one on this site who lives anywhere near me, say within 30k's (any farther than that is not practical for me) but maybe someone knows people or has relatives around here. Hi again, Like Ali, I can remember your posts from 2008 where you stated how much you hated where you were. I can't believe that you are still out that way I thought you would have left by now as you were soo unhappy. I can't remember exactly but are you there as part of your visa, can't you move to another town? Nigel is over that way somewhere (I think) and I know he offered you some great help and advice last time. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest One Hour Photo Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 It would seem there is still no-one around here and that no-one knows anyone around here. Still early days, I will check again in a week or two just in case there is anyone in any of the towns listed with a spare seat at their Sunday lunch table...... If you think there is someone perhaps you could contact them first and ask if they can contact me or give their permission for me to contact them. Unfortunately people and places outside my area are not practical for me, but when I get my private plane back in action I will let you know : -) Bye for now......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest proud2beaussie Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 I am in Tallangatta which is a fair way from you so I wouldn't expect you to come here but I do have clients in Wangaratta and I visit them regularly,at least once a month ,sometimes more often and I would be happy to meet you for a coffee somewhere if that is the sort of thing you would be interested in,I also know of some people who belong to a community group in Benalla and I can put you in contact with them if you would like. Please feel free to send me a PM if you feel I can help in any way. Good luck. Cheers Edited to add: You mention that you like dogs,have you thought about joining the Wangaratta Kennel Club? they offer classes in obedience etc and whilst your dog may not need any training I'm sure they would have some social events as well,their website is http://www.wkodc.com/ They also have a small group of members who volunteer their time with Pet Therapy Dogs who regularly visit Nursing Homes around the Wangaratta district so that may be a way of meeting people as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest One Hour Photo Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 Hi Nigel Next time you are around it you want to 'do lunch' please let me know. I have a somewhat unpredictable work life as I am self employed, and I am ‘open’ 365 days a year, as I am on my own there is no-one to look after things so it can be difficult to plan in advance to get away. In some ways my business gives me freedom in others it ties me down. Making a living can be a bit precarious so work has to precedence when it’s there, for example I have a day off today (just going to change into my bike gear) but will be busy tomorrow. I realise your visiting days are probably busy but if you have time I should be able to get out for lunch. I will look forward to hearing from you with a more definite day. With a couple of days notice I should be able to schedule a drive to Wangaratta to fit in with picking up supples, if not maybe I can offer you lunch at my place. Now for that bike ride ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connaust Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 Presently I'm between Melbourne, Wangaratta and Yarrawonga bit tied up with a training contract in Melbourne and "ageing parents project" but will be in Yarrawonga Wangaratta 2-3 days a weeks for much of winter.... where exactly are you? Anywhere in Oz can be quite "closed", an older family friend from Yarrawonga was complaining about Wangaratta..... does not say much for Australians' positive self image Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest One Hour Photo Posted May 23, 2010 Share Posted May 23, 2010 Presently I'm between Melbourne, Wangaratta and Yarrawonga bit tied up with a training contract in Melbourne and "ageing parents project" but will be in Yarrawonga Wangaratta 2-3 days a weeks for much of winter.... Great new, have sent PM, hope we can meet up very soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest One Hour Photo Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 I haven't heard back from anyone as yet but its early days, thought I would bump this up - hope thats OK. Still working on it, so if there is anyone out there or if you know anyone around here please ask them if they will get in touch. I don't care if they are British, just need to meet people. It seems to me you can't make friends until you have some (a catch 22) or at least have some contacts. Just looking on the net and see there are a few things on at the Wangaratta Arts Centre, it opened recently and I have never been. http://www.wangarattapac.com.au/home/w1/i2/ I am thinking of going over and catching a show, they have day and evening ones, I will go on my own if I have to but it would be nice to have someone to have a coffee with as well. If you can go can you let me know, if not but know anyone who is and would be prepared to allow me in to their group can you please ask them to make contact of for permision for me to get in touch. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest One Hour Photo Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 Hi Folks Hope no-one minds if I bump this up. Just asking again if you can think if you know anyone around here who might be prepared to offer me some company. I am hoping to meet up with a couple of people from this board when they pass through next, but I am still looking for 'locals' who I could call or visit from time to time. I need to find some regular company, maybe that way I might get to meet people to form some sort of social life and I could get out now and then. The days are not so bad, although sitting on my own having coffee is depressing and gets embarrassing (like wearing a sign saying 'look at me, there is no-one who will even have a coffee with me') but I keep busy and I can walk to town, or walk the dogs, being here on my own evening after evening 365 days a year for 5 years, is just too depressing. I understand that people are wary of people on their own, I understand there is a natural aversion to the ‘loner’. I am not a ‘loner’ I just don’t know anyone, is having no family or friends really such a crime. I so need some real conversation. I am so sick of small talk, I have to get past 'how are you today', doesn't matter how I respond to small talk I can't get past it. Small talk has its place but there has to be more. How do I get people to include me ..... to invite me even ....... I have tried asking people if they want to come here, but I think they think it’s a bit weird, they don't know me personally or socially so I suppose it can come across as weird ..... When I was in NZ I once tried giving a party - one couple came, don't know who was more embarrassed them or me, never saw them again, I must have looked like a pathetic loser. I think when you are a single outsider you need to find other single people in the same age range to mix with. It’s different if you have known people for many years or they are family but, it seems to me a single outsider just doesn’t have a place to fit. I decided to give this site another go as I can’t think of anything else, sorry to be so pathetic, I will get over it soon. Mostly I have got used to my situation but every now and then I have a go at changing things, so far without success, so I settle back to my routine. I know I don’t come across as the sort of person anyone would want much to do with but in person I don’t know if I am that bad, I do this because I hope it’s a safe place to say things I cannot say in real life. People have their own problems, lives and families but surely I can get a break – I pay my bills and my GST and I sent money to Save the Bears this week so I can’t be all bad. ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 Sorry you are finding things a bit tough, can you volunteer for something? I know there will be a CWA (Country Womens Association) up there, but that might not be your cup of tea. However, you have dogs, and as I am also a dog lover, what about a local wildlife shelter/rescue service to volunteer at? I have met people who are friends through volunteering, I can't emphasise enough how great it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest proud2beaussie Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 Hi One Hour Photo, Sorry I haven't had time to reply to your last PM.I'm off to Beijing tomorrow for a week but will be back in touch with you on my return and will make arrangements with you to meet up for a lunch sometime. Hope things improve for you and that you are soon able to expand your social circle. Cheers Nigel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest One Hour Photo Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 Ni Nigel, No problems, enjoy the trip. I am just hoping to find some people who live around here so I can find people to vist, or go out with, on some sort of regular basis. I think the reality is there is just no-one around here who is looking to include anyone new in their circle, and I fully understand that by the way. The fact is it has been so long since I had a social life I am beginning to wonder if I would know what to do, I hope its like riding a bike and it would come back to me. I OK really, I am pretty used to things, just sitting here on a Saturday evening watching TV on my own I decided to post just in case. Catch up with you after your trip ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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