Just cannot decide

[Aussie at heart]

We're considering starting a new life in Australia - possibly Sydney or Perth. Such a difficult decision. It's not as if we don't like our life here in the UK. I really like living in Chester - great little historical city. Also great being able to travel to Liverpool and Manchester in less than an hour for a day/night out. Even enjoying the snow at the moment!

My problem is that I travelled around Oz in 1998 and 2000-2001 and really miss the place, the people, the lifestyle and the sunshine. Constantly thinking about what I could be doing there - so much so that it's affecting my work life. Feel as if I'll be wasting my life if I remain in the UK.

I know it's been a while since I last visited Oz - we're due to return for a month long holiday in January 2012. My wife feels that if I go there I'll be trying to recapture my youth from 10 years ago or so rather than Australia itself - i.e she thinks I miss the old me rather than my old experiences. To some extent I can see her point. However, I really miss feeling the warm sun, dining in pavement cafes with smiling faces around and trying to catch the surf wearing just board shorts - much better than dressing up like a gimp in a head to toe wetsuit in Cornwall! I know the weather in Sydney this Spring/Summer has been very rainy/cloudy/British but it still doesn't put me off as I know 9 months of the year are generally better than the normal British summer and winter in Sydney/Perth is not much colder than September in the UK. Any advice? Be great to hear from people who feel/felt the same as me. Thanks.

[Guest The Pom Queen]

Hi and welcome to PIO.

Personally I would come back over for that holiday and bring the OH, it is totally different having a holiday here than living here and it is a long road to getting the visas which can be very emotional and stressful. You both really need to want this move to get you through the application alone and then the move away from family and friends.

If you are due a holiday come out and see how you both feel, then consider your options.

Good luck

Kate

[Guest chris955]

It sounds as though the weather is very important to you so in all honesty you could well be happier here. Many of us of course feel as though we are wasting our lives here so it isn't cut and dried for anyone. We have been back for 11 years now and things have changed enormously in that time, my advice would be to come over for as long as you possibly can and make the decision then.

[Guest robnnic]

Hi Aussie at Heart,

i was in the same situation as your OH. My Husband had been to oz in 97 and 2001 and has always wanted to move there...we met in 2003 and he was up front with me and i was up front with him, saying no i would never move my family mean so much to me i couldn't leave them. He choose me and we have made a life in cumbria got 2 lovely girls. Well, after much probing, we went o oz for a holiday march-april this year....and rob was getting excited bout watching NRL (??) etc and i said to him..."look it won't be like when you have been the last few times, we have a family to think about" and he said "i know but it will be new experiences we will share together". We loved it, went to the beach went to canberra, did loads...but for me it was a holiday.

When we got back we agreed we would never live there...too much family politics with our family we stayed with. But i was secreatly thinking...whats stopping us going over for a year, if we don't like it we can come back...the children are young enough to be able to do it without too much upset....so that is what we are doing.....we are applying for PR so we can stay there, but we are also renting our house out so if it doesn't work out we have something to come back to. we are trying not to make it sound a big final deal because then we feel we will put to much pressure on ourselves. Basically i guess i'm trying to say, she will be worried your going to think its a road trip...relive your youth etc...its natural, so she will have her defenses up...especially if you are thinking of making it a perminent step, you also have to remember this will be a new experience for both of you together. Speaking from someone who was in your wife position, it made me feel better when we started looking at things to do together and started planning our adventure.

Hope this helps.x.

[starlight7]

I would say you both have to want to come rather than just one of you or things could get very hard for you. I know what you are saying about the weather because that was one of the biggest things for us when we emigrated in the 1970s. I loved it here and still adore the weather and Australia- even in the middle of Winter you get these magic sunny days. It rains sometimes of course but it dries up very quickly because it is warmer. People are different though- I realised this when we went back to England for the first time ( after 10 years) because we had changed but our friends and family had not and I was soo homesick for Australia. Now we think of England as a distant foreign land and will probably never go there again because our parents are all gone and we have lost touch with most English friends.

[Zack]

We're considering starting a new life in Australia - possibly Sydney or Perth. Such a difficult decision. It's not as if we don't like our life here in the UK. I really like living in Chester - great little historical city. Also great being able to travel to Liverpool and Manchester in less than an hour for a day/night out. Even enjoying the snow at the moment!

My problem is that I travelled around Oz in 1998 and 2000-2001 and really miss the place, the people, the lifestyle and the sunshine. Constantly thinking about what I could be doing there - so much so that it's affecting my work life. Feel as if I'll be wasting my life if I remain in the UK.

I know it's been a while since I last visited Oz - we're due to return for a month long holiday in January 2012. My wife feels that if I go there I'll be trying to recapture my youth from 10 years ago or so rather than Australia itself - i.e she thinks I miss the old me rather than my old experiences. To some extent I can see her point. However, I really miss feeling the warm sun, dining in pavement cafes with smiling faces around and trying to catch the surf wearing just board shorts - much better than dressing up like a gimp in a head to toe wetsuit in Cornwall! I know the weather in Sydney this Spring/Summer has been very rainy/cloudy/British but it still doesn't put me off as I know 9 months of the year are generally better than the normal British summer and winter in Sydney/Perth is not much colder than September in the UK. Any advice? Be great to hear from people who feel/felt the same as me. Thanks.[/quote

 

If you have a good job,you live in a nice house,in a nice area,you have a nice extended family.All you want to do is come out here for the WEATHER.TAke notice of your wife.You must be mad.I wish i had listened to my wife.A wasted life out here is what we got.When i think of all the things i have robbed my family of back home,i realy feel guilty.Some people that have not long been out here and went to live in the sunshine coast,are not so happy with the weather although it is warm,they have been flooded out twice, some 5 times this year,11 towns now in the sunshine coast are isolated,and up to their knees in sewerage.It's liveing out here you find out what it's realy like,Not on holiday.And at the best time of the year.

[docboat]

Some thoughts you want? OK ....

 

We're considering starting a new life in Australia - possibly Sydney or Perth. Such a difficult decision.

 

Why do you want to start a new life? Don't answer that here - this is your life. You are considering making a serious change in life, and you need to have a good reason for change, and a clear idea of what it is you want to do in your life. Do you have a clear idea of what you want to be experiencing 5 years from now? Can you see, feel, touch, smell that new life when you close your eyes and imagine? If not, you need to make that vision really clear to yourselves. If you do not make it really clear to yourselves, you will be leading a life where your choices are by default, where "things happen" and you go off at a tangent you do not like.

 

It's not as if we don't like our life here in the UK. I really like living in Chester - great little historical city. Also great being able to travel to Liverpool and Manchester in less than an hour for a day/night out. Even enjoying the snow at the moment!

 

So you are happy with your life just as it is, and right now .... my thoughts are that you should not make any changes. Yet. Decide why you want a change, what direction. Come to Australia and lose what you have now? For me, I would rather have my teeth extracted than go to Liverpool or Manchester for whatever reason. For you, such places are good. I love Perth. You may well hate it.

 

My problem is that I travelled around Oz in 1998 and 2000-2001 and really miss the place, the people, the lifestyle and the sunshine. Constantly thinking about what I could be doing there - so much so that it's affecting my work life. Feel as if I'll be wasting my life if I remain in the UK.

 

So what you are really saying is that you want to keep life as it is, but have the benefit of a good climate. But then you suggest that because of the lack of a good climate you are wasting your life? My thoughts? I think that maybe your life is a bit boring - professionally? - and that you are looking for a change from that, and the weather thing might be a good excuse. May be quite wrong to think that, but those are my thoughts.

 

You will only be wasting your life in the UK if you choose to waste it - and you can waste your life in Australia just as effectively - it is a condition of the mind, not the climate.

 

I know it's been a while since I last visited Oz - we're due to return for a month long holiday in January 2012. My wife feels that if I go there I'll be trying to recapture my youth from 10 years ago or so rather than Australia itself - i.e she thinks I miss the old me rather than my old experiences. To some extent I can see her point.

 

Agreed with your wife. But I think you both might enjoy a trip here, a longer holiday, and then you can both see how it feels to be here, search out the job avenues, take a look at what it is you want for yourselves and your family. Come on over and play - at the very least you will have a great holiday. Win win.

 

However, I really miss feeling the warm sun, dining in pavement cafes with smiling faces around and trying to catch the surf wearing just board shorts - much better than dressing up like a gimp in a head to toe wetsuit in Cornwall! I know the weather in Sydney this Spring/Summer has been very rainy/cloudy/British but it still doesn't put me off as I know 9 months of the year are generally better than the normal British summer and winter in Sydney/Perth is not much colder than September in the UK. Any advice? Be great to hear from people who feel/felt the same as me. Thanks.

 

Personal note:

I grew up here, was removed to Europe after finishing 3rd year exams in high school, back to sunny Scotland, and I spent the following years in Europe before Hong Kong and then - after I turned 50 - returning to Perth. Had I returned here in those earlier years, I might not have been as happy as I am now. Who knows? But now, for me and my family, this is the right place.