Guest Widgy Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Hey guys I hope some of the girlies out there can help with this, I am moving to melbourne perm in december this year with my partner. He is aussie and has loads of mates in the area, however I dont know anyone out there and am nervous about making friends cause when I last came out I found the aussie girls hard to connect with. I am leaving a large network of friends behind which has taken most of my 28 years to gather lol, not wishing to sound wet am a tad nervous lol. Any advise from a fellow pom would be awesome cheers newbie x:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Hi and welcome to PIO Go into the Victoria section of the forum and check out Melbourne meet ups, you could meet some new friends there who are also looking for mates. best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest isobel10 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 We are planning to move to Melbourne in Dec too. We are a little older so not sure you would want to socialise but good luck with the move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Widgy Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Hi isobel10 im sure I would love to socialise as i get on with everyone as long as they have a bloody good sense of humour and arent massive drinkers who like clubbing lol Im not bisest on age lol will have to sort something out closer to the time :-) good luck with your move too, where are you thinking of living??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest isobel10 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Hi. No we arent big drinkers. Cant deal with the hangovers I used to give myself as a younger party animal nurse. Hoping to move to Berwick area but will depend on jobs I guess. What about you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Widgy Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 we will be heading to bendigo first for a month or so whilst we look for a place, im hoping to be in balaclava area, either that or richmond same as you it will depend on jobs at the time. I take it your a nurse then ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest isobel10 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Yes I am but currently lecturing. Although when we go to Melbourne I will be on sponsorship visa so will need to work as nurse. What are you planning to do over there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alison and Simon Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 we will be heading to bendigo first for a month or so whilst we look for a place, im hoping to be in balaclava area, either that or richmond same as you it will depend on jobs at the time. I take it your a nurse then ?? We have been in bendigo 6 months now and i love it here. Have you been before? :wub: If you need any help or advice, then happy to help:wink: Alison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Widgy Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Nope never been before its were my partner comes from and so we will be moving in with his folks till we find our own place, will def have to catch up when we get there in dec. I hope to start training as a carer for the elderly or disabled adults as dont want to work in the office anymore. cheers for the support guys cant wait to meet up :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Nope never been before its were my partner comes from and so we will be moving in with his folks till we find our own place, will def have to catch up when we get there in dec.I hope to start training as a carer for the elderly or disabled adults as dont want to work in the office anymore. cheers for the support guys cant wait to meet up :biggrin: Personally I think that mixed marriages always work better when you are both away from your "patch". It can get old very quickly if he knows everyone, his family is there all the time (and yours misses out on everything that happens), his friends call him up for outings and you are on the outer, he knows where to shop for the best bargains and thinks you are a dope because you dont know etc. Far better for "your" family to be you two against the world in a new place - I reckon about 10 hours from the inlaws is good enough! Then you both have to work together to make your relationship work without there being a power imbalance and you both have to work equally hard at getting yourself settled in a new community. If you can avoid living with the "inlaws" then do so!!!! Being in a mixed marriage can be a particular kind of challenge - good luck with it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Caitmelbourne Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Hi there I'm 29 & have been in Melbourne for just over a year & although I do love it here I also find Aussie girls difficult to connect with. I think it might also have somthing to do with our age, most people are fairly settled in life & have established friendship groups, perhaps not always open to welcoming new transient faces. Saying that, I have met some lovely people who have been really friendly, just struggling to meet like-minded people with the similar daft sense of humour as my friends back home. There are regular meet-ups in Melbourne, I'm yet to attend one but do plan to soon. You really have to make an effort to get out there & meet people, doesn't seem to be as easy as back home. I really crave the familarity of old friends, but I guess that's all part & parcel of moving countries. Good luck with the move, sure I'll still be here in December & happy to meet for a welcome drink :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrisDubBris Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Personally I think that mixed marriages always work better when you are both away from your "patch". It can get old very quickly if he knows everyone, his family is there all the time (and yours misses out on everything that happens), his friends call him up for outings and you are on the outer, he knows where to shop for the best bargains and thinks you are a dope because you dont know etc. Far better for "your" family to be you two against the world in a new place - I reckon about 10 hours from the inlaws is good enough! Then you both have to work together to make your relationship work without there being a power imbalance and you both have to work equally hard at getting yourself settled in a new community. If you can avoid living with the "inlaws" then do so!!!! Being in a mixed marriage can be a particular kind of challenge - good luck with it! I completely disagree. If you get on well with your partners family, they can make being away from your own family a lot easier. If your husband is making you feel left out then it is a sign of a poor relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36762 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I completely disagree. If you get on well with your partners family, they can make being away from your own family a lot easier. If your husband is making you feel left out then it is a sign of a poor relationship. I agree/disagree with both of you! My wife's parents live near us and they have been both a god send and the bane of my life, if that's possible. They help out with baby sitting, and I think they love me warts and all, but by crikey they (ie the MIL) irritate me as well! You could call it a clash of cultures..... Overall they have made living here a lot more do-able as they try to help whenever they can. Perhaps I should grow up and appreciate them more, but YOU KNOW?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I completely disagree. If you get on well with your partners family, they can make being away from your own family a lot easier. If your husband is making you feel left out then it is a sign of a poor relationship. Not at all, my husbands family are lovely people but when you are trying to build a relationship and they have everyone and know everything that skews the power in the relationship. Far better to be the two of you on even footing I reckon. Resentment isnt always rational either - it may just be when you have spent your seventh consecutive Christmas with his folks and your folks havent seen your kids at Christmas - ever - then irrationalities do begin to creep in. It's not about the OH excluding it is more about them not realizing that you may be excluded from a whole range of stuff that he takes for granted. I have always been pretty self reliant so havent needed their help in any way really. We did it together and it made us stronger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Personally I think that mixed marriages always work better when you are both away from your "patch". It can get old very quickly if he knows everyone, his family is there all the time (and yours misses out on everything that happens), his friends call him up for outings and you are on the outer, he knows where to shop for the best bargains and thinks you are a dope because you dont know etc. Far better for "your" family to be you two against the world in a new place - I reckon about 10 hours from the inlaws is good enough! Then you both have to work together to make your relationship work without there being a power imbalance and you both have to work equally hard at getting yourself settled in a new community. If you can avoid living with the "inlaws" then do so!!!! Being in a mixed marriage can be a particular kind of challenge - good luck with it! The above is a bit of an insight why your posts are so negative about Australia Quoll. Well that and the fact that you live in Canberra. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Hi Widgy Welcome to PIO. If you want to drop me a pm I can put you in touch with lots of people who would be more than happy to make you feel welcome, the only problem will be having time to yourself as they are always doing something lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ezzybee Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Im just outside Berwick! Im 31, left a great group of girls behind in the UK and I do miss them very much!! But life is for living!!! Happy to meet with everyone who is intrested! Im outgoing, up for a laugh and loving aussie life! Ive met some great people froms poms in oz! So nearer the time just post and Im sure people will reply!! Just let me know if u want to meet up, have a car and great rain routes near by!!!! Good luck with everything! Erin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 The above is a bit of an insight why your posts are so negative about Australia Quoll. Well that and the fact that you live in Canberra. Not in the least, I would be a damn sight more negative if I had to live in Ballarat :wacko: You missed the bit where I explained that doing it as a family with both on unfamiliar territory was a huge plus in my books, we did it together and it made us stronger as a couple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Widgy Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Hi Quoll, thanks for the advise, I dont have a problem living with his folks as they are both really lovely and it will give us the kick start financially that we need. Plus he has been living in uk with me and sharing me with my friends for the past 2 years so I think its only fair I do the same wen we move back to oz in dec. I think maybe your advise is from personal experience and thats why it came accross a tad negative but hey we are all different and thats part of the life experience so thanks! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Hi Quoll, thanks for the advise, I dont have a problem living with his folks as they are both really lovely and it will give us the kick start financially that we need. Plus he has been living in uk with me and sharing me with my friends for the past 2 years so I think its only fair I do the same wen we move back to oz in dec. I think maybe your advise is from personal experience and thats why it came accross a tad negative but hey we are all different and thats part of the life experience so thanks! :-) Sorry, wasnt meant to be negative, was meant to offer you some tips for making it work best. The impression I have comes not from us - being both very independent people we got it right I reckon, we both shied away from living within cooee of my family in UK and his family here - but from quite a few women (and it is pretty much entirely women) who havent got it right and who were not having a very good time here. Over the years I have had personal messages on this and other boards from quite a number of women, usually once they have begun to have kids, who have found the close proximity to inlaws to be very challenging. It might be more something to do with girls missing their mums especially when they become mums themselves. Aussie males are renowned for missing their mates:biglaugh: I dont think it is necessarily anything even rational - as I said before, it is easy for resentment to filter in especially when you see that your family is missing out on a whole lot of your life when his family isnt. They may be perfectly nice people. Good luck with it anyway and forewarned is forearmed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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