how long do you give Australia

[Guest debbie67]

I wonder if whichway is home now.. I think you are right... I have wanted to migrate to Oz since I was a child and yet within minutes of been in melbourne airport I knew it was not for me ... how wierd is that? I have lived my life my first impressions ... and they have never been wrong. my husband is also thinking wtf.......

[Guest debbie67]

do you regret moving back

[Guest gill w]

I can do a decent priced bikini wax!!:wink:

 

Fancy a comment like that coming from a bloke in Australia!

[Guest gill w]

AAAH Stirling st .....the south west times .....Eaton .....Glen Iris .....Big W .....just name dropping :biglaugh:

 

Aah you're clearly familiar with the buzzing metropolis that is Bunbury! It's a very pretty place, they could make it really lovely but just don't seem to be able to make their mind up what they want to be - they class it as a "city" yet don't make it appeal to anyone who visits - probably the majority of residents don't want new people moving in and that's why the place seems to have been at a standstill.

 

 

Interesting you're now in Solihull - how long were you here for?

[Guest gill w]

Hi Gill,

 

I'm so sorry it isn't working for you. I am 5 weeks in and slowly starting to come to terms with 'Australia' as it stands. I am very left wing (social worker, sorry) and struggle with the blatant racism, sexism, homophobia and general bigoted nature of white Australians in this area (I'm informed the east coast is much more refined). However unless we stay for a minimum of 2 yrs we have to pay back our relocation package of $16k!!! We can't afford that so we're here for a bit yet - and I'm coming to terms with this and trying to settle in as best I can.

 

Many ppl have told me not to go back for 2 yrs, to give it time, but I am not going to follow that advice. I am going back (for a holiday) in August and believe me the shopping list started the day after we touched down lol. My husband is bracing himself for a rather large credit card bill and I am smiling )

 

I am also informed the more remote area ppl go, the more they struggle to settle. I don't know whether this is true? I am based in Subiaco and have little intention of moving further south than Claremont.

 

ENjoy going home )

 

Oh one thing I am seriously missing is decent tampax!! Weird missing thing, that and decent washing powder.

 

Hi

Oh poor you, I know exactly how you must feel. If it's any consolation my last year has flown by even though I've been very homesick and trying to see the first 2 years through as everyone seems to advise! I've also read the advice which says to see it as a long stay rather than forever, make small steps and try to see the positives - it does help and the time will pass - you never know, you may feel differently by the time you can actually go back!

 

Yes, I'm also from a social care background and I know we've seen a lot of changes over the years in the UK and some would say we've gone too far with stuff, but the culture is more different than I expected too. I knew Aussie men are "men" but I didn't expect to be thrown back 40 years to the attitudes we now know to be highly questionable! I am more than aware that blatent sexism, racism and homophobia are alive and well in Australia, even at the highest levels, and that comes from both sexes. Even domestic violence is joked about in many some which I cannot bear to listen to, under the veil of "blokes having a beer & a laugh".

 

Sorry to all of those I may have offended!

[MARYROSE02]

Hey Maryrose, I am also from Hampshire, between So'ton and Winchester. Where abouts did you live?

 

I was brought up in Blackfield, down at the bottom of The Waterside. My Dad worked for Esso at Fawley Refinery. After I came to Australia in 1978, my parents moved to Marchwood, between Hythe and Totton, and I lived there for twelve years when I went back to England in 1996. When I first went back I was always going down to Blackfield trying to 're-connect' but eventually I grew to prefer Marchwood. I worked for Royal Mail at Soton Mail Centre for the twelve years that I was back in England. Between Southampton and Winchester? Does that mean around Chandlers Ford/Eastleigh, or maybe Rownhams/North Baddlesley?

 

Blackfield was where I went to school and there seemed like a time when I just about knew everyone, which is why it was probably a bit of a shock coming to Sydney. I used to cycle down there every week from Marchwood but I could never quite believe that I'd actually lived there. It was worse for my brother Neil because he could not build any kind of connection with the place. He was angry about it too. Moving to Marchwood was a bit like emigrating for a second time (and perhaps coming to Sydney for a second time is my 'third' emigration!)

 

I still own the house in Marchwood but I doubt if I've ever go back to live there. I was thinking recently that it might be nice to rent a cottage in The New Forest for a holiday but I don't know if I will ever do it.

[Guest Guest55385]

Gosh, I cannot believe we were effectively so close! Hampshire isn't that big I suppose lol.

 

We have a house in Romsey which we are trying to sell at the moment. No real joy. Although it was everything my kids new we were never really happy living there and were looking to move. Romsey was just a bit isolated. Originally we're from the North West of England, so it was always in the back of our minds to move back but our kids were really settled and the quality of life was good so we considered moving to Winchester.

 

I used to work in Hythe. I was a social worker and covered the area from Totton, right down to Blackfield/Fawley and across to almost B'mouth. Although we're missing the UK terribly I don't think we'll go back to live in Hampshire. I love being in a city. Plus we though about going to Canada after this

 

You here to stay in Sydney now?

[Guest NatIan01]

Me & my partner moved out here just over 2 years ago on our own. We knew nobody but have done very well here. Good jobs earning great money, few good friends.

We found out we are expecting our first baby in 11 time weeks and since then, we have realised that its a very lonely place really and family and friends are missed very much. We have made some good friends but nothing like the friendships we had in the UK. My partner works long hours and when the baby arrives it will just be me and her for the majority of the day, he works most weekends too. We have decided that in September we will be returning back to the UK. We are both unsure if its the right decision but we wont know until we try it. We do truly love Perth as a place but we think friends and family and being completely happy are more important. Another factor is that we still have our house in the UK and cannot move on here until that is sold and finding it very hard to sell from here as we cannot get anyone to stay in to rent a house thats up for sale so we have to pay for the mortgage there and living costs here....soon to be on 1 wage. We also think that it would be nice for our little girl to have people around her and family to see her grow up as she is the only grandchild. We always have the option to return to Perth in a couple of years if we decide we have made the wrong choice but we cannot just stay for the sun, sea and sand. Our and our future little girls happiness has to be the main reason.

I can say that we have loved our experience here and are so lucky to have had the chance to give it a go. x

[fourcorners]

Hi NatIan01, welcome to the forum.

Your situation is very similar to a lot of Brits who come out here as young couples. I was chatting to my friend last night who has been in Australia for 6 years now. She had a baby about 11 months ago and they are considering moving back to the UK. Most of their reasons are similar to yours - she wants to be near her family so that the babe's grandparents can know her as a baby. Her husband has already had a job offer there but they're trying to decide between going back to the UK or just having a chnage and moving to Perth (they've lived in Kal for 5 years now so I'm not surprised they're fed up with it here!). As a couple they don't feel ready to leave Oz just yet but now they have Amelia to think about too. They also have citizenship too though so it would easy for them to come back in the future. Personally our plan is to start a family here in a few years but I think after that it wouldn't be long until we moved back to the UK. After seeing a couple of friends struggle trying to balance motherhood and going abck to work without the support of other family around, I know where I would want to be to raise my family.

[Kirsty M]

Me & my partner moved out here just over 2 years ago on our own. We knew nobody but have done very well here. Good jobs earning great money, few good friends.

We found out we are expecting our first baby in 11 time weeks and since then, we have realised that its a very lonely place really and family and friends are missed very much. We have made some good friends but nothing like the friendships we had in the UK. My partner works long hours and when the baby arrives it will just be me and her for the majority of the day, he works most weekends too. We have decided that in September we will be returning back to the UK. We are both unsure if its the right decision but we wont know until we try it. We do truly love Perth as a place but we think friends and family and being completely happy are more important. Another factor is that we still have our house in the UK and cannot move on here until that is sold and finding it very hard to sell from here as we cannot get anyone to stay in to rent a house thats up for sale so we have to pay for the mortgage there and living costs here....soon to be on 1 wage. We also think that it would be nice for our little girl to have people around her and family to see her grow up as she is the only grandchild. We always have the option to return to Perth in a couple of years if we decide we have made the wrong choice but we cannot just stay for the sun, sea and sand. Our and our future little girls happiness has to be the main reason.

I can say that we have loved our experience here and are so lucky to have had the chance to give it a go. x

 

This situation is pretty similar to mine and Fourcorners is right, lots of people find themselves in this situation, and I can think of a few on here. We had a great lifestyle in Oz as a couple and we've been here 5/6 years now but since I had my son 14 months ago I've wanted to move home. I'm now expecting baby no.2 due in July and we have decided to move home early next year. I still have a few reservations based around the state of the UK economy but at the end of the day we are just going to give it a go. I didn't think I would find it so hard, but I really hate my son not having any interaction with extended family. It's not the way either myself or husband were brought up. I know some people love being here and have raised their families with no extended family around but it's not for me. It's good that you are thinking of this in advance because if you feel this way now the chances are it will only intensify as time goes on (as it has with me). I've found christmases and my son's first birthday very hard but we made an effort to make them as special as possible. At the end of the day we are lucky because if it doesn't work out in the UK longterm we can always come back. Not that I want to end up the dreaded ping-pom! :wink:

[Guest NatIan01]

Thanks for the reply, Yes i think its mainly because of the baby. I always said if we had children then I would bring them up here rather than the UK but I have completely changed my mind now Im pregnant. I want her around her family, I want her to be loved and them to be able to see her anytime they want to, and to be honest I was born and brought up there and lived there for 28 years same as my partner and there is nothing wrong with us, we have both done alright for ourselves so the UK isnt that bad.

Luckily my partner has been offered his old job back and they are very busy which is good and back there I will be able to go back part time as we have family who would love nothing more than to have my baby while I do. We are fortunate that we can take a good bit of money back with us so we dont feel the financial strain when we arrive back but to be honest Perth is so expensive I will feel that its very cheap back there.

I think at the moment our hearts are back in the UK although maybe our heads are here but I am the sort of person that follows my heart. x

[Guest Monte Zenia]

We lived in Oz for 2 years on a 4 yr Sponsorship the company of my husband got into difficulty and so we decided to return, remained back in Europe for 6 months and missed Oz so much went back on a years gap hol and located a job for myself they wanted to sponsor me so came back and set the wheels in motion. However just had 2 refusals on the 457 only due to Agents sad thing is the in- competence so here goes in the 3rd application tweeked sfriends we made and sad thing is the Company have the nomination for me..... so what can I say we love it the life, the friends we made and the jobs on offer. We fit right in and we are not young leaving our family behind but believe its our life now and skype is great !!! You have to give it a go dont always think of back home as the grass is always greener as its really not !!!

[MARYROSE02]

Personally, I'd recommend anyone who comes here, particularly once they have stuck it out for a couple of years, stay until they have either permanent residence or citizenship. Four years to get citizenship I think??? Once you have been here a couple of years or so, the place, like any other for that matter, 'grows' on you. You go back, experience the intitial 'rush' of seeing family, friends and where you grew up, but then the reality of actually 'living' there again sinks in. I know there is one lady who posts on PIO who is absolutely desperate to come back to OZ, after returnng to England for exactly the same reasons as others on here. The Australian citizenship is just an insurance that you may never have to use.

[MARYROSE02]

Gosh, I cannot believe we were effectively so close! Hampshire isn't that big I suppose lol.

 

We have a house in Romsey which we are trying to sell at the moment. No real joy. Although it was everything my kids new we were never really happy living there and were looking to move. Romsey was just a bit isolated. Originally we're from the North West of England, so it was always in the back of our minds to move back but our kids were really settled and the quality of life was good so we considered moving to Winchester.

 

I used to work in Hythe. I was a social worker and covered the area from Totton, right down to Blackfield/Fawley and across to almost B'mouth. Although we're missing the UK terribly I don't think we'll go back to live in Hampshire. I love being in a city. Plus we though about going to Canada after this

 

You here to stay in Sydney now?

 

I like Romsey and it's the sort of town that I always thought I'd like to live in - small enough get out in the 'bush' and large enough for facilities like a decent shopping centre - still has a bus station I think - long gone from Southampton. I cycled there from Marchwood sometimes, into Totton via Eling Tollbridge, along the Totton bypass then through Nursling and Lee parallel to the rail line until you come out on the main road from Soton. I fell off my bike there too, front wheel stuck in some mud and I half went over my handlebars. I'd usually come back to Marchwood the other way via Totton or maybe via Hill Street, latterly a bit sad as my Dad was in the nursing home there.

 

You sound like you are more of a city person if you found Romsey isolated! I was used to living in villages like Blackfield and Marchwood. I think when I was living in Blackfield, Hythe was almost 'The Big Smoke!' I made a new life for myself in Marchwood, making new friends in the village and also through my job.

 

I doubt if I'll ever go back to live in England now, not to live anyway. I've still got my house there but I have more close family here in Sydney. I guess in a way, although I did settle in - bound to after twelve years - I always had the intention to return to Australia. When my parents were there, it was great, going back for a few weeks, staying with them. I did think about renting a New Forest Cottage for the summer one year but not sure if I will do it.

 

There's a large office for social workers in Hythe isn't here? West Cliff Hall maybe or is that just the name of the old hotel? West Street maybe? For me, cycling south from Marchwood, turn left and the building is near the cricket and football field.

 

Canada might be nice although I think the winters can be harsh. I've been to Toronto and Montreal but I always thought Vancouver would be nicer to live, more equable climate?

 

Hampshire is quite a big county because places like Guildford are still in Hants, Basingstoke too but then I rarely went north of Soton Airport where I worked. It's the same here with most of my life taking place between Surry Hills and Bondi.

[Guest guest57545]

Hampshire is quite a big county because places like Guildford are still in Hants, Basingstoke too but then I rarely went north of Soton Airport where I worked. It's the same here with most of my life taking place between Surry Hills and Bondi.

 

 

thought Guildford was in surrey?

 

seriously though hants is great was there 10 years prior to moving here, new forest is lovely walking spot

[MARYROSE02]

thought Guildford was in surrey?

 

seriously though hants is great was there 10 years prior to moving here, new forest is lovely walking spot

 

Yes, you are right, sorry. I had a look at Hants towns and see that Aldershot and Farnborough are in Hants and I think they come under the 'GU' postcode. The New Forest is a special place, probably the only thing that I really miss about 'home.' I used to cycle or walk there almost every day, mostly the eastern half - to the east of Lymington, Brockenhurst, Lyndhurst, I mean - did not want to go too far west in case I had a puncture. I did start to explore more in my last year, making it out to Burley one day and almost to Fordingbridge another. I got lost coming back from there too, cycling in the dark on the heath, suddenly came upon a pub I recognized, one of those at the end of a long lane. Now, where was it and what is its name!?

 

There are some Aussie connections with The New Forest too. Capt Philip lived on a farm near Lyndhurst - there's a plaque somewhere in The Domain I think, and the first vicar is Sydney - Johnson? - He was in a church at Pilley I think - that church has a link with HMS Hood because the admiral on there was from there too.

 

Where did you live in Hants?

[Guest guest57545]

I'm afraid i was in southampton (Shirley) not the nicest part, we used to escape to the forest as often as we could bike ride walk or even just a pub lunch!

[Guest Ptp113]

Hated it for maybe 3mths, got a good talking to and basically told to stop being a pommie ****, and still here 5 decades later. A holiday showed me all I needed to see, same old sad, smelly people, living in the past. They are welcome to it!

[Guest davethebear]

I was there for 4 years, but I knew after 18 months when the boredom of lack if interaction started to kick in that I was gonna go home...

 

But we are all different......

[MARYROSE02]

I must admit that I've taken umbrage sometimes about people criticizing Australia 'I love it here, so why don't they?' But then I realized that it's not about loving the UK and hating Australia because the destination was actually irrelevant. They could have gone to South Africa, NZ, Canada, the USA, even within the UK, from Plymouth to Perth, say. Perth, WA, and Perth, Scotland, would have been equally alien. For someone like me, who comes from the deepest reaches of The New Forest, Scots probably are as exotic, if not more so, than Aussies!

[fourcorners]

I see a lot of other people giving advice along the lines of 'you've got to change to fit in with Australia'. I don't agree with that. I think you have to have different expectations about the lifestyle but I don't think anyone should change who they essentially are - if you try to do that you're only pretending and in essence kidding yourself. Like someone said their son went along to a football match and cheered on their friends team even though they secretly supported someone else. No friendships should be based on lies or deception, if they are then you're not friends.

 

If you get fulfilment out of the Australian lifestyle and genuinely enjoy it then that's great for you. But others just don't get it, just don't want to stay here, and just want to go home. For those folks I would say make a plan to go home (whether that's in a few months or a few years). Once you've made a plan you'll instantly feel better and start to enjoy what Australia has to offer. And then your original plan might change, and that's ok too.

[Guest Ptp113]

I see a lot of other people giving advice along the lines of 'you've got to change to fit in with Australia'. I don't agree with that. I think you have to have different expectations about the lifestyle but I don't think anyone should change who they essentially are - if you try to do that you're only pretending and in essence kidding yourself. Like someone said their son went along to a football match and cheered on their friends team even though they secretly supported someone else. No friendships should be based on lies or deception, if they are then you're not friends.

 

If you get fulfilment out of the Australian lifestyle and genuinely enjoy it then that's great for you. But others just don't get it, just don't want to stay here, and just want to go home. For those folks I would say make a plan to go home (whether that's in a few months or a few years). Once you've made a plan you'll instantly feel better and start to enjoy what Australia has to offer. And then your original plan might change, and that's ok too.

Disagree, you have to change or you'll be heading back before you know it. Seen it so many times over the decades

[fairystar32]

I had too sit on the sidelines cheering my daughter on for years when she played footie in the UK and I hate the sport LOL

 

She would of been really upset if I had not of suppported her though.

 

 

 

 

if you try to do that you're only pretending and in essence kidding yourself. Like someone said their son went along to a football match and cheered on their friends team even though they secretly supported someone else. No friendships should be based on lies or deception, if they are then you're not friends.

 

If you get fulfilment out of the Australian lifestyle and genuinely enjoy it then that's great for you. But others just don't get it, just don't want to stay here, and just want to go home. For those folks I would say make a plan to go home (whether that's in a few months or a few years). Once you've made a plan you'll instantly feel better and start to enjoy what Australia has to offer. And then your original plan might change, and that's ok too.

[fourcorners]

I had too sit on the sidelines cheering my daughter on for years when she played footie in the UK and I hate the sport LOL

 

She would of been really upset if I had not of suppported her though.

 

Supporting your daughter in something she loves is quite different to actually changing your own character and beliefs to fit in with other people.

 

I think if you have to change something intrinsically about yourself in order to fit in with others then you're just not being true to yourself. Some people don't have to change to find true happiness in Australia. Some people would have to change significantly and for them Australia is not the right country. If you're just pig-headed about staying somewhere so you don't feel like a failure well then sure you'll have to change and pull the wool over your own eyes. But if you're true to yourself, you'll know where you truly belong.

[landv]

Supporting your daughter in something she loves is quite different to actually changing your own character and beliefs to fit in with other people.

 

I think if you have to change something intrinsically about yourself in order to fit in with others then you're just not being true to yourself. Some people don't have to change to find true happiness in Australia. Some people would have to change significantly and for them Australia is not the right country. If you're just pig-headed about staying somewhere so you don't feel like a failure well then sure you'll have to change and pull the wool over your own eyes. But if you're true to yourself, you'll know where you truly belong.

 

Excellent post fourcorners, you put into the words how I feel all the time. I always thought if I had to stay here for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be true to myself and would be living a lie.